January Behavior Tips from Dr. Becky Bailey of Conscious Discipline
Many families have difficulties helping a child who is very upset. Do these responses sound familiar: “You’re okay, can you give me a hug?” “Come look over here! Play with this!” “Shhhhush (accompanied by rocking or bouncing).”
According to Dr. Bailey, these responses rob the child of the opportunity to express his or her genuine emotion. These statements, “You’re okay, can you give me a hug,” generally stems from the parent’s fear that the child isn’t okay, or that s/he is okay but is going to start wailing.
To respond to the child in a way that addresses his/her emotion, we must teach him/her how to handle the upset. We can do this by using active calming ourselves, helping the child to calm down and labeling the emotion to build the child’s self-awareness.
Step 1: S.T.A.R. (Smile, Take a breath, And Relax). Actively calm yourself first so you can respond.
Step 2: Wish the child well by continuing to breathe and thinking loving thoughts about the child.
Step 3: Notice, “Your face is going like this (demonstrate the child’s expression). You’re safe, I’m here. Breathe with me.”
Step 4: Label emotion the emotion for the child to build awareness, “You seem sad (angry, upset, frustrated).” Do your best to label the child’s emotion. The
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However, experiencing their own emotion is necessary and healthy for your children’s development. Be present with your children and help them cope with difficult emotions rather than attempting to shield them. The payoff will come years later when your children are able to handle their own upset about life events, whether they be bigger ones like a death in the family or smaller ones like getting a ding in his/her first car. Whatever the event, you will have taught your children the skills necessary to calm themselves in times of emotional
Kids! Help! Look at what your father is doing to me!’ She would scream out between breaths” (McCandless, 29). Most mothers would do anything in their power to help their children bloom into the beautiful blossoms of adulthood with as minimal damage as possible.
Conflict among infants and toddlers do happen. It is important to allow them to experience conflict with our support. They are allowed to safely engage in conflict and resolve it their way and learn to handle conflict by themselves, rather than the staff resolving it for them. Supervision is crucial, and getting down to the child’s level when communicating shows
I am planning this activity because it is appropriate for this age group. Children at the age of one are not certain on how to control their arger. They are expected to cry about any emotion they are not familier with. This activity will not only teach them new words but will give them a reaction to their distraction. 4.
Children at this age are very prone to temper tantrums, this could be from wanting something they canâ€TMt have or getting angry because they are struggling to do something independently. By forming a close bond with a child could help to diffuse these outbursts of
A child or an infant in pain, for example, generally will let you know that he or she hurts and will point out the source of the pain. Ask a young child to point to any place that hurts. An older child can tell you the location of painful areas. If you need to hold an infant, always support the head when you pick up the infant.
Most research has found that the reason why parents or guardians shake their babies when angry is because they do not know the damage that it can cause (Fujiwara et al., 2012, p. 614). Therefore the main goal of various research is to try and find an effective way to educate them and provide alternative ways of dealing with these situations. This is due to the fat that even if parents know the risks, there is a chance that they may still resort to shaking as there is no other alternative (Russell, 2010, p. 672). Research done by Bechtel et al. , (2011) found that across different cultural backgrounds in the United States, when mothers were informed that shaking their baby would hurt them, the mothers removed themselves from the stressful situation for a short period of time so as to prevent it (Bechtel et al., 2011, p.
In order to contribute a positive relationship it is essential to demonstrate and model an effective communication skill when dealing with children which means that considering both how the practitioner approach other people and responding the children. It is effectively more likely to communicate information to one another if having a positive relationship. Effective communication plays an important role in developing positive relation with children, young people and adults. It is also essential that the practitioner is interested in development of the children by using effective communication skills, building a positive relationship, approaching and responding in appositive manner, making feel comfortable or supporting which it’s required.
And if this did not work, caregivers were made to understand that sometimes an infant’s cries cannot be soothed and that the best course of action is to walk away, calm down and then return. If they were having difficulty calming down, they were to call a friend or family member to talk through their frustrations. They were also told that crying does not always indicate that something is wrong. It is a normal part of a child’s development and does cause any physical pain to the child. And most importantly they were reminded never to shake the baby (Bechtel et al,
The first step in reflective listening is to become a detective. You must be able to remove your own reactive, subjective emotions in order to focus on your child. Instead of advising and being judgmental, you should try to observe your child’s demeanor, behaviors, tone, and words. Empathize- Try to empathize with your child’s feelings without making it about you.
It is not a bad thing to have or express these emotions, in fact it is bad to keep them all bottled up inside. But letting emotions take over and block reasoning out, then undesirable outcomes are sure to
The spillover effect, which means the mood or behavior in one subsystem will transfer to another subsystem, will happen and it will have negatively affect the children. Davis and Cummings (1994) propose the quality of the marital relationship may drives the emotional security of the children. The emotional security will influence regulation of the emotion, the motivation and family relationship. Children may have low level of expressing their feelings and high level of withdraw from interaction with other (Katz & Woodin, 2002). In Susan’s situation, she does not dare to share the difficulties that she is facing in school.
- You were sobbing. Why won't you talk to me? - I'm trying to be here for you. - Stop over-analysing everything I do! - I'm fine!
The first year of a child’s life is spent communicating entirely through nonverbal means. Infants use every part of their bodies to convey their wants and needs as their parents and early childhood educators respond to meet them. Examples of this are reflexes, such as opening their mouths when hungry. Also, crying and whole body movements to demonstrate feelings. Another way that is interesting in infant nonverbal communication is allowing infants to play with each other.
They level of stress rises to a point that they can’t do it alone. Having someone like a family member or friend to help is the only way to level down the worries and distress, because if the children