Are We Having Sex Now Or What Summary

In "Are We Having Sex Now or What?" by Greta Christina, she addresses many different definitions and criteria for what she thinks sex is or should be labeled as. She starts by thinking about and conceptualizing what sex actually is. She goes and performs her own tests on what sex is like for her with many different people. Originally, she only accounts for the binary and traditional sex which is between a man and a woman. But she realizes this isn't good enough. She not only wants her definition to include all couples, but she also wants to show how sex changes people and the relationship they are in. It isn't something to be taken lightly, and always alters the relationship no matter what, either bringing people closer together, or pushing them apart. Lastly the final part she wants to

She thinks the line between these two things is hard to distinguish, because there is a misconception that if someone is being sexual that they must automatically want sex, which isn't always the case. So, in order to create her definition and really outline what sex is she felt she needed to encompass these three things.
Her first definition which she later rejects is that in order for an act to be considered sex, it must be a "conscious, consenting, mutually acknowledged pursuit of shared sexual pleasure" (Christina 6). She came to this conclusion because her original thoughts were based on heterosexual relationships only, but after experiencing same sex love, she needed to reframe her mind and think about sex for all people and all relationships. She thinks back to every sexual encounter she's ever had not just intercourse and feels she needs to include any touching or dry-humping, etc. because she thinks