Socio-linguist Deborah Tannen illustrates that communication differences within men and women in “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other.” Tannen provides an anecdote to describe the same conversational problems that happen on married couples. Tannen states different communication styles of men and women cause misunderstanding or even ruin their marriage. Tannen also provides the solution of understanding “cross-cultural” differences can improve male and female relationship.
Tannen wrote in her essay Sex, Lies and Conversation about how men and women are raised differently, the problems that arise with cross gender communication, and ultimately what the solution is to fix this problem. How a person is raised will have an impact on what kind of person he or she will become. Women and men are raised in different social groups and their behavior is proof of this. “Little girls create and maintain friendships by exchanging secrets,” wrote Debra Tannen (404). As girls grow up they continue to view
In the article “ ‘Bossy’ is More Than a Word to Women” Tannen explains about a campaign called ban bossy. Ban “bossy” is a campaign to make it so women and girls are no longer called bossy for reasons other than trying to speak their mind without softening the words. Women and girls are often called “bossy” because they tell others what to do. The problem with that is girls and boys often speak different “languages”, which enables a girl to seem bossy. Boys often speak in a way as girls do but get different responses from it.
In the article “Sex, Lies, and Conversation” written Deborah Tannen, she states and discusses the differences between men and women communication and refers to it as cross-cultural communication. Females think intimacy and talking are the biggest parts of a relationship, males think less talking and more doing are the biggest parts of a relationship. Different genders have different listening strategies. Females face each other, make strong eye contact while talking about one subject. When males talk they sit angled from one another and their eyes wander the room when talking about multiple subjects.
Women tend to look at whoever she’s speaking to in their eyes, face to face, without any distractions often giving listener noises such as mhm, uhuh, and yeah; she likes the listener’s full attention. Men on the other hand, tend to bounce from subject to subject, not looking at the person they are speaking to, and curiously looking around. Men often find that women’s listener noises are frustrating and one man even complained that his wife only had one view of looking at something, that when he tried to show her another way, she got mad at
His eyes were so shifting, so leering and slippery; the slight cast made one unsure of the direction of his gaze” (Carter, 1967, p. 54). Constructing female identity in light of the male gaze prevents them of forming their real identities and marginalizes female to a sexual tool that satisfying male; Beauvoir argues that the social and cultural norms, which support males, allow female constructing only their stereotypical gender representations; female are expected to belong to male, “she is nothing other than what man decides, she is this called the other"(, 1949, p. 26). Melanie, who is inquisitive about having sexual relationship, turns to change her mind; she recognizes that this experience seems to prevent her from establishing her real gender identity. The sexual relationship that male and female seek reveals the sexual dependent of male and female, which affects the process of gender identity formation and prevents individuals of having an authentic gender
Kizer used the moment to give readers a sense of the hidden inner thoughts of the scorned woman. As the reader, it is quite obvious that during this verbal exchange of former lovers, the woman has internal struggles with her feelings towards someone she used to be so close to. She wants so badly to hate him, but underneath she harbors residual feelings for him. She repeatedly has to talk her inner self down from wanting this man, as she tells her “Down, girl! Keep your distance.”
Tannen gives evidence of how men and women respond differently during conversation: “Linguist Lynette Hirschman found that women make more listening sounds such as ‘mhm,’ ‘uhuh,’ and ‘yeah,’ to show ‘I’m with you.’” Men prefer to give silent attention, which women are not accustomed to and may percieve this silence as the men not listening. Tannen points out that since these habits are so different, it can be frustrating, which I agree with. Both people in the relationship tend to complain about the other person’s habits, and this can ruin the relationship, which Tannen shows examples of. If this difference in habit is not communicated within the relationship, it will never be solved and could possibly lead to divorce.
Further clarifying the choice for shorter outburst like ways to say these negative attributes she is associating with women who think outwards of her ideas. 3.The scene portrays a different side to Katherina not seen throughout the entire play. Initially Katherina is seen to look down upon men, hence the reason for her refusal to marry. Not only has
Including the gender difference perspective, created by society that gender differences separate a fine line between men and women. Woman’s norms, costumes and expectations for their gender greatly differ from men’s. There are different values and characteristics associated with being a woman, and as a reason for why men and woman experience the world differently. Women are viewed as solf care takers who are emotional, submissive, creatures that are often seen as sexual instruments for men. While on the other hand men are thought to be tough aggressive workers.
In this article, Penelope Eckert addresses many important findings about the correlation between language and gender. To begin with, she discusses the pursuit of conversation. She states the nature of conversation between men and women and how conversation is highly structured which includes many communicative conventions (Eckert, 2003). These communicative conventions serve many purposes such as, regulating talk, it governs how many people can talk at once, it also governs when it is the right time to speak and the appropriate duration when speaking (Eckert, 2003). Overall, these communicative conventions aid and play in providing routines and organization as to when to initiate and end conversation (Eckert, 2003).
In the article “The Power of Talk” by Deborah Tannen, the author talks about the two different culture tradition in which men and women speak differently. Tannen also extended her research to the workplace where she realizes that our “Ways of speaking learned in childhood affect judgements of competence and confidence, as well as who gets heard, who gets credit, and what gets done (Tannen, 1995).” If everyone in the workplace was aware of other people communications styles, there would be less more confusion and misread conversation. In this paper, I will be discussing the meaning of linguistic style, one up, one down, who get credit and who takes credit, who boast about accomplishments, and ritual opposition.
Praise should primarily be used and seen as something positive. The purpose of praise is to motivate regardless if it can seem deceitful at times. If praise were to be accepted as an expression of approval or motivation in all communities than the formation of a more utopian society would be possible. Everyone would try to help each other fulfill their goals instead of making things into a competition.
Human relationships are a very complex system that has taken science and psychology years to figure out. Any human relationship needs fundamentals and basics to run smoothly. Communication is part of the most important aspects of a healthy relationship, especially when crossing genders. Men typically are straightforward, while women like to say as much detail as possible. Two different articles (“His Talk, Her Talk” and “Man to Man, Woman to Woman”) discuss the different communication styles of men and women and how they affect the relationship.