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Ap English Civil War Personal Response

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1. This essay did reach the 900 words minimum and went beyond but the word count was not added at the end of the essay. 2. In this essay she used several different citations from the book and only the direct quotes were cited with the page numbers. While it was good that direct quotes where referenced with a page number, an area of improvement would be to provide a page reference for each paraphrased paragraph. 3. My classmate and I pretty much have the same points and examples in our essays. We paraphrased and organized differently. We both talked about how women got more job opportunities while the men were called into duty. We also included that the war had a huge support to ban alcohol. I noticed she was more in depth with her points and …show more content…

The thesis is credible and was it included in the beginning of the introduction paragraph? I think that the first half of the introduction was good but the other half of it was a little off topic from the prompt by covering about African American joining the war. Maybe you could explain the significance of why you included that? The evidence is shown everywhere but it was not well explained sometimes. 6. It seems like the classmate did a good job in grammar, spelling and proof reading. I didn’t see any grammatical errors throughout the essay. Overall, this is a well written essay and I didn’t see any problems. 7. Based on the grading rubric for this essay I would give this student a score around 20-24. For mechanics, she followed all instructions, uploaded readable doc to dropbox, pasted in in the D.B, and met the minimum word count. For originality, I can’t really say because she did not include a work cited reference at the end. For contents, she answered the prompt, addressed the question, used direct quotes and paraphrased. The essay is very readable and the mechanic is good. Overall, it seems like she had a good understanding of the chapter but lacked an explanation of how the war helped those movements. But then again, I did the same

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