Reflection On Contemplation Over Life

Creative Writing Cds – Assignment 2 (Koh Aik Hu)

Journal Entry 3 – Contemplation over “Life”

Paragraph 1 – Stanza Once again, the year is about to end.

The skies a dreary grey, with heavy rain drenching the surroundings, it reflects the deep unease within my heart.

Another new year, another year wasted.

All the actions I am allowed to take, each regret I am forced to relieve day and day again; each one of them is for a better future – or so I would like to believe.

Through these years, plagued with bouts of insomnia, I have tried giving (Justifying) my existence thus far.

In the pursuit for “Living”, one will hold “Ideals”, “Goals”, in their hearts, to re-enforce every decision they make.

In the pursuit for a “Life”, one will hold a “Dream”

Unfortunately, I have lost sight of my former “Dream”, and lost motivation to even try and “Deny” fate.

Deflated, I can only watch on as progression tramples over me, and I am left to stagnate in the contradictions and regret that clamors for my grief.

Paragraph 3 – Paragraphing The rain continues on, never relenting in its intensity.

The weather during the end of most years results in quite consistent rain, but yet the weather still remains fairly unpredictable even with modern technology.

In the stock market, there are people whom invest in safe stocks, only to see the stock prices crash without reason.

Denying absurdism, Man tries to find a pattern (Order) for the events in everyday life.

Through the pursuit for “Order”, man can then “Justify” actions done in their lives.

To try and ensure events proceed in a styled manner….

Perhaps Man pursue “Order” in search for “Stability” in this absurdist world.

I cannot blame them.

Lost, cocooned amid familiar pain and grief, I take ironic solace in

The deconstruction of self begins with the disappearance of one “Ideals”; losing sight of “Dreams” once cherished, and so thus I can only continue on as a shadow of my former self.

Paragraph 5 – Emergency End-Roll “No matter how much the puppet wishes to perform, if the strings ae no longer there, it can only flop around.”

The original intention is lost, and there is no meaning to continue it further.

The “Dreams” that I had had faded into the sea of nothingness.

The pure intention I wished to pen is washed away with the rain before the new year, leaving only the sediments of despair behind.

My heart remains clouded akin to the current skies; greyed out and devoid of the original brilliance it shined with.

Pieces of the “Ideals” I had cherished remains with me, but my despair corrupts them into a catalyst of my anguish.

I have lost sight of what that I have wanted to achieve, and it pains me so; For it means the corruption of the “Ideals” I held in esteem - the meaning of every action that I have taken now will be