Bonesetter's Dysfunctional Communication

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The main theme throughout The Bonesetter 's Daughter is the importance of communication in relationships, and how without communication, relationships suffer. Tan shows us this in several different ways, through: Mothers, daughters and spouses. She shows us how concealing our past, feelings and intentions lead to misinterpretations of actions and the weakening of relationships. Tan focuses mainly on mother daughter relationships, and how damaging miscommunication is to both mother and daughter and their relationship.

There are several mothers and daughters, who suffer though their uncommunicative relationships, throughout The Bonesetter 's Daughter: Ruth and her mother LuLing 's; Ruth and Art

There is only one major spousal relationship in The Bonesetter 's Daughter, and one smaller relationship. Both lack communication, usually this is a damaging factor in a relationship, bun in one case it is proven that some ignorance is bliss.

Art and Ruth 's relationship is the main spousal relationship. Ruth is constantly misinterpreting Arts indirect suggestions, interpretations of marriage, and the importance of the relationship.

"I 've tried to legally bind you in the past with ownership in the house, which you 've yet to take.

That 's what he had meant by a percentage interest in the house? She was baffled by the mechanism of her own defense."

(Tan 348)

Ruth thinks Art is walking all over her and undervaluing her, so she built a wall to protect herself. By doing so Ruth has put up her defense for things that she should have let through because they were good. When Art suggested sharing ownership of their house, Ruth assumed he was just trying to use her, when her was really just trying to be closer and more connected to her. When Ruth was taking care of her mother Art had been asking Ruth to come around for dinner all the time, and Ruth felt this was another way that Art was walking over her. As it happened, Art

The message that is most prominent in The Bonesetter 's Daughter is that the lack of communication in relationships is harmful both to the relationship and the people in it. Tan makes this point over and over again using examples of: mothers, daughters, spouses and partners. She shows that when people don 't say to other what they really mean or feel, misinterpretations can lead to hurt feelings, strain in the relationship, damaged sel0images and self-destructive behavior. Than Makes a point that all can be resolved, but usually it takes time and talking. The story also suggest that in youth many things have to learned before on even things to question human intention, or even how their actions may come across to another, through mother and daughter relationships. The message in The Bonesetter 's Daughter is simple;