Capstone Marriage Ideal
1. How did you come to the decision to get married a year after meeting each other?
- This question would be concerned with the idea of marriage as a capstone, neither of my parents were financially independent when they met each other and when they married, so I’d like to explore how their decision was counter to the “capstone” marriage ideal.
2. Was the age gap between you ever a consideration when it came to marriage?
- I think there’s something worth exploring here in that there is a 10 year age gap between my parents, when they married my mom was 20 and my dad, 30. Exploring cultural scripts here, and how this wasn’t a defining factor though it may be considered taboo, might produce interesting results.
3. Was there a point in time where
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If this was not the case, at what point did you decide to marry, and why? What about the other person made this clear? What about the other made you think they would function well in a marriage with you? How important was religion, race, political affiliation, and class for you all?
- These questions would explore whether they hold more of a mythic love ideal, or if they were more pragmatic about it. It would also help me understand stratification of potential mates, and intersectional. It would also indicate if there were pragmatic values behind the choice, what motivated the union.
5. Were you/are you all in love? What does that mean for you and what role did it play in solidifying your relationship?
- These questions are to sate personal curiosity, my parents are a good team, and they love each other, but I’ve never been sure if they’ve been in love (according to my definition of what that means, it can be subjective). Depending on their answer, it can place them categorically in either a companionate or individualist marriage. It can also contribute to an understanding of the pragmatism/idealism of their marriage
6. Is there a specific distribution of tasks between the two of you in terms of housework and childcare? For a while mom was the breadwinner, did that have an effect on your dynamic/dad’s position in the
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