The Questioner's Happiness: A Narrative Analysis

For the perfectionist, the challenge of doing things right is not being too angry at those who don’t get it right or too self-critical For the helper the challenge is not being resentful when they are not appreciated which means that they must be less attached to their giving. The challenge of happiness for the achiever is honesty instead of image-making when success fall short. The challenge of happiness for the creative romantic is accepting the price of the “labor pains” which creativity requires and not inflict the misery of their “stuck places” on oth-ers. The observer’s happiness is knowing everything by first observing long but they must deal with the slowness and inactivity that this observing involves. The Questioner’s happiness

The Adventurer’s happiness is having fun of adventures and adventures this mode of life can make them unreliable unless they learn more tolerance of boredom and less addiction to fun.. The Asserter’s happiness comes from always being strong and self sufficient but they must sacrifice domination and autonomy for the interdependency and mutuality of marriage. as well as the give and take of teamwork in their careers. The Peacemaker’s happiness is being able to keep peace by avoiding conflict but sometimes the peace and harmony must be sacrificed to get to a deeper truth and this can be hard for a Peacemaker. In short, all of the Enneagrams have happiness gaps which require courage, sacrifice, understanding and/or humility to achieve. All of these virtues are components of integrity and heroism. The inability to admit both the strengths and the weakness of each Enneagram can result in pursuing a false happiness and a false identity as discovered by Karen Horney in

For the writer/therapist the helper, peace-maker and relational pleaser come up meaning the feared pit is anger and conflict. Marriage has helped me to safely deal with my anger past the passive aggressive into more assertive to be increase my power and my tendency to be a listener has helped build communi-cation skills for intimacy (love) with the two together being a middle path out of an original inferiority into feeling good enough in the “work” or marriage and parenting in the give and take of the roles of power within both. The parenting style tends toward the counselor (hearing feelings) but the coach style of warmth but high expectations is a better style according to research. I encourage the reader for their entries here on personality strengths and weaknesses thorough peaks and pits of roles in marriage and