Children's Grief Theory

This paper aims to investigate Children’s grief response to death across a range of development from infancy to preadolescence. There is a widely believed theory that there are five stages of grief. The findings of this paper suggest that the five stages of grief are an over simplification of the grieving process and do not apply to children regardless of their age level. Instead, children’s grief responses are based on their cognitive development. At each age range, they are equipped with additional skills to help them understand and cope with death.

Keywords: Grief, Egocentrism, Cognitive Development

The emotions a child experiences during the death of a loved one, particularly a parent, is difficult to comprehend. Often, it

Children ages 0 -4, babies and toddlers, have little to no cognitive abilities necessary to understand death. However, after the death of a loved one, babies become aware of loss, more so, when it involves an individual who played a significant role in their everyday life. The stress and discomfort a baby experiences is similar to that exhibited when a mother leaves the room.

Similarly, toddlers experience stress in understanding the loss and separation of a loved one. They may question the whereabouts of deceased and develop a feeling of anxiety which escalates when they are unable to obtain and comprehend the answer. Children at this age have a heightened sense of anxiety concerning separations and rejections because they do not have the capacity to use fantasy to gain control over what is happening (Dyregrov, 2008). Though they may be able to understand the term death, their concept of death is vague. They see death as being temporary and reversible. That is, when a toddler is told about the death of someone, he or she may consider the deceased as going on a long trip and question their whereabouts just a short time after. Common grief responses of the toddlers include nightmares, withdrawal from others and regressive behaviors such as bed wetting, thumb sucking, clinging, inconsolable crying, temper tantrums (Willis,

Their egocentric qualities often lead them to feeling responsible for the death of a loved one. As children get older, their grief processes become more systematic and understandable. Their egocentric qualities often lead them to feeling responsible for the death of a loved one. Developmental psychologist Jean Piaget theorized that children possessed a tendency to focus on one aspect of a situation in which they are only concerned with the final outcome of an event rather than another’s intentions. Egocentrism is especial prevalent during preoperational development, ages 2-7 (Piaget, 1951). An example of egocentrism can be observed when a child is asked the question, why does it snow? The child’s response may be “Because I like snow.” The child believes that things happen solely because it is their desire. Similarly, a child may thing that a death is their fault because of something they wished upon the deceased in a spurt of anger or