Clingy Lifeguard

Up in my high chair with my red tube stretched across my equally red lap, I gaze across my pool. I look to zero-depth and see the bikini-wearing mom cult gossiping. In the lap lanes, the foreigners who believe they have descended from the swim gods struggle to swim a full lap without touching the bottom. The geriatric gang begrudgingly wait for their instructor to arrive so they can begin their water fitness class. The hooligans who think that because the lifeguard cannot see them that they can break the rules with no repercussions, scurry behind the guard chair. Lastly, standing as close to the chair as they possibly can, the clingy kid who will not leave the guards alone, no matter what. At the pool you can see all different types of people

This kid has good intention and all but doesn’t know how to leave someone alone. They remain at one guards sign for the entire duration of their stay, no matter what. A guard has to check the pool chemicals to make sure no one dies from chlorine poisoning and the clingy kid sits next to them asking question after question. “What are you doing? Why are you doing that? Why did that turn pink? Can I try? Will I die if I touch that? Is that poisonous?” They will not stop talking and all these questions and words fill the guard’s head and they begin to have remembering if they tested pH or alkalinity, or was it combined chlorine? Then the guards goes to count patrons and once again the clingy kid remains by their side with no intention of leaving, ever.

Many people think how could a lifeguard possibly have the time to notice all these people? They need to watch the pool. They need to keep people safe. They need to know if anyone needs assistance. If lifeguards do all this people watching how can they possibly be doing their job? That last question has a very simple answer. By doing all this people watching, we complete our job to the fullest because the job of a lifeguard is to people