Men And Women In Conversation Deborah Tannen Analysis

The question, “why do men and women so often communicate badly, if at all?” Has influenced and motivated Tannen. In “But What Do You Mean” by Deborah Tannen, she discusses many areas of difficulty in communication between men and women. Tannen’s purpose was for her readers to understand the importance of communication, she also has identified several ways in which men and women miscommunicate, and she has taught her readers a few things about our society and how it can be improved.

To analyze the English language is to rediscover how to speak. When scrutinizing every word or sentence, one’s whole perspective changes. How language affects a speaker, reader or writer is a complex maze of tone, diction and meaning. But, all these things tie into the concept of language manipulation. Language can manipulate one’s thoughts or actions. Through rhetoric strategies, language choice or deliverance, every word has a point to make and an action it hopes to cause.

In the poem Talk the point of view is told in the first person by the author Terrance Hayes. Terrance Hayes was born in 1971 in Columbia, South Carolina. He not only is a writer but a successful artist and athlete as well. Hayes attended Coker College where he succeeded in his athletic success and earned his bachelor’s degree. Then received his M.F.A at the University of Pittsburgh. He has won several awards for his work such as his most recent, light head, which won the National Book Award in Poetry in 2010. Now he is a professor at his Alma Mater University of Pittsburgh teaching creative writing. Hayes tries to get the audience to look at thing in a different angle then most poets and can let them relate easier. Hayes talks about the problems of racism in Talk through a poplar experience that doesn’t have to do with slavery or segregation.

Being pressured into conventional roles today is less common than back in the 40’s and 50’s when society had nothing but conforming roles for men and women in society. examples of this come from how men and women were brought up, culture and media. If it were not for these three factors gender roles would be farfetched. But unfortunately, there is still this pressure of gender roles and one way or another everyone has to make the decision of whoever they want to be and live with those roles. In this essay culture, media and how both men and women being raised affect gender roles and socialization.

Socio-linguist Deborah Tannen demonstrates how men and women communicate differently in her essay “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” In her observations of communication styles, she discusses the way in which men and women communicate leads them to conflict because they have different understanding of their partners’ role. She also explains male and female communication differences not only cause ineffective conversation, but also push couples into a dilemma in their relationship; however, as men and women better understand the differences, their relationship improves.

An essay written by Deborah Tannen called “How male and females students use language differently”, is describing how they talk and interact with others. The writer presents different studies on how language changes based on a certain person. The essay states that men are more aggressive and talkative, while women are calm and modest about talking about the views they share. The main points that will be looked at are the different genders, backgrounds, and groups. These are used to help to better understand why language is used differently.

“Sex, Lies, and Conversation” is an article about the different communication patterns associated with males and females. Tannen explains how males and females communicate as young boys and girls, with others of the same gender, and how the different genders place and express themselves while communicating. Tannen even goes to say that talk between men and women is, “like cross-cultural communication” (424). She

Named as the “entry stage”, the first out of the three developmental stages involves the sharing of basic and demographic information. Examples of these could be one’s age, occupation and ethnicity. In this stage, communication rules and norms are highly practiced. The two communicators involved are still quite reserved—if not reticent. However, once the conversation between the two communicators has shifted from talking about one’s basic information to sharing one’s personal views and beliefs, the interaction has then reached the second stage—which is the personal stage. In this phase, Person A is now able to comfortably ask and talk about Person B’s values and personal issues, or vice versa. They now are “less constrained” by the rules and norms of communication and are capable of conversing more freely with each other (University of Twente, 2010). The exit stage, however, is the final stage wherein the participants decide whether they want to develop or end the relationship and interaction they have established (World Heritage Encyclopedia,

Socio-linguist Deborah Tannen illustrates that communication differences within men and women in “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other.” Tannen provides an anecdote to describe the same conversational problems that happen on married couples. Tannen states different communication styles of men and women cause misunderstanding or even ruin their marriage. Tannen also provides the solution of understanding “cross-cultural” differences can improve male and female relationship.

In Deborah Tannen’s “But What Do You Mean,” she delves into the complications men and women may have when it comes to expressing their ideas and opinions to one another. In this essay, Tannen explores common situations in communication including apologies, criticism, thank-yous, fighting, praise, complaints, and jokes. In each section, she expresses the idea that the lack of communication between men and women is because of differentiations in the thought process. She continues to say that when it comes to voicing opinions males and females are wired differently. While Tannen’s theory may apply to a large spectrum, it is too generalized to base it on individual people. When we begin to generalize each other we never truly take the time to

The deficiency theory suggests that gender differences in language reflect power differences in society. In mixed-sex conversations men are more likely to interrupt than women. An old study of a small sample of conversations, (Zimmerman & West 1975) at the University of California produced 31 segments of conversation. In 11 conversations between men and women, men used 46 interruptions, but women only 2. However, it is true that in studies like these, one interrupting man can seriously destabilise these results and skew conclusions (Beattie 1982). Α study in the 1980s by O'Barr & Atkins looked at courtroom cases and witnesses' speech. Their findings challenge Lakoff's view of women's language as his methodology was also founded on anecdotal

Socio-linguist Deborah Tannen illustrates that communication differences between men and women in her article “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other.” Within men and women desire different expectation, they fulfill their roles in certain way. Tannen reveals male and female communication differences are a frustrated problem, which not only causes ineffective conversation, but also pushes couples into a dilemma in their relationship. However, once men and women understand the differences, their relationship improves.

Communication is an essential part of everyday life. People encounter some form of communication with others on a daily basis, whether it is face-to-face, electronically, etc. However, communication is not universal in that everyone interacts with each other through these several methods. Thus, numerous studies about communication from different viewpoints have been conducted. One of these perspectives is analyzing communication through gender. In the book, You Just Don’t Understand, Deborah Tannen (1990) popularized the term “genderlect” to describe the way in which men and women communicate with each other. She suggested that men and women have different styles of conversing, forming two distinct dialects. In a review of Tannen’s book, DeFrancisco (1992) attributed the differing communication styles of men and women to the respective cultures in which they grow up. Because of such gender differences, misunderstanding between men and women creates a gap in the communication process. Tannen used her genderlect theory to help bridge that gap by acknowledging and achieving an understanding of the language of each gender.

In this article, Penelope Eckert addresses many important findings about the correlation between language and gender. To begin with, she discusses the pursuit of conversation. She states the nature of conversation between men and women and how conversation is highly structured which includes many communicative conventions (Eckert, 2003). These communicative conventions serve many purposes such as, regulating talk, it governs how many people can talk at once, it also governs when it is the right time to speak and the appropriate duration when speaking (Eckert, 2003). Overall, these communicative conventions aid and play in providing routines and organization as to when to initiate and end conversation (Eckert, 2003). In addition, Penelope Eckert

Even from a very young age, I had always realized that males and females thought and communicated differently. Within my own family, gender miscommunication plagues my parent's marriage and my relationship with my three sisters. Even so, the dissimilarities between how my girlfriend and I communicate helped me further grasp the importance of understanding gender miscommunication. Through her research, Deborah Tannen has found that males and females see the world through different lenses. While they value the elements of each other’s “worlds,” they emphasize the elements differently. Males tend to be more direct in their communication while females prefer indirection and expressiveness. Contributions to my worldly lens were