Deborah Tannen

Socio-linguist Deborah Tannen illustrates that communication differences between men and women in her article “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other.” Within men and women desire different expectation, they fulfill their roles in certain way. Tannen reveals male and female communication differences are a frustrated problem, which not only causes ineffective conversation, but also pushes couples into a dilemma in their relationship. However, once men and women understand the differences, their relationship improves.

In the first part of her essay, Tannen discovers “lack of communication” damage marriage. Tannen opens up her essay with a story about a small talk that gathers men and women. During the chatting, one women is very quiet, but his husband is talkative. Finally, the small talk turns out the disagreement on

She states young girls exchange their secrets to establish friendship; women maintain friendship by sharing their life stories and expressing feelings. In addition, women expect their husbands to become listeners as their best friends do. According to Tannen, “For women, as for girls, intimacy is the fabric of relationships, and talk is the thread from which it is woven” (264). Women consider talking create closeness whether in a friendship or relationship. In contrast, boys prefer physical activities to oral communication for friendship. According to Tannen’s comparison of development between boy’s and girl’s group: “Boy’s groups are larger, more inclusive, and more hierarchical, so boys must struggle to avoid the subordinate position in the group” (264). Since boys, as well as men, are more likely to dominate other team members in a group, they refuse to become listeners. Thus, the “children’s development” contributes to communication differences (qtd. in Tannen