Descriptive Essay: General Strider

566 Words3 Pages
And there at the bottom you see the picture he took, the money shot, loaded up in the reply box and all ready to be sent off for his friend’s viewing pleasure. It’s not a bad picture of you, honestly. Your head’s turned in signature confident apathy and the angle shows off your killer jawline. You give a slight nod of approval and hope you’re not too forward in pressing “send” on his behalf. Fuck, you’re so close to breaking down and laughing your ass off. Keep it together Strider, this situation is too beautiful, you gotta revel in it just a little longer. When you look away from the phone and back to him, his face has had plenty of time to follow the natural progression through resigned trepidation, and has presently transitioned into unadulterated…show more content…
You kind of are a prickish tool. Whoops. It’s a rather anticlimactic epiphany, though, something you already kinda knew. Apples, the trees they fall from, whatnot. So then. Next course of action. Mission objective. General Strider, just what exactly are we trying to accomplish here? Let’s take a quick inventory of what we’ve learned so far: Subject shows marked proclivity for making increasingly innovative expressions of dumbfoundment, and has exhibited impressive talent in the field of turning himself various incriminating shades of red. Other than that, this kid-- “John” you’ve figured out for yourself, no thanks to him-- is apparently not one to take matters into his own hands or offer any constructive contributions toward the advancement of ongoing proceedings. You’re in the saddle here, you’re yanking the reigns around. You’re the cowboy directing this western. It’s you. Insert Brokeback Mountain reference. So, okay, you already know he thinks you’re hot. And you know you think he’s pretty hot, too. Dork-hot, at the very least. And when opportunities like these arise, you’ve never quite been able to resist pushing people, hard, to test out their limits. So you decide how you want to push John, and remarkably, he doesn’t push you
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