I want to have that feeling described in books, I want to feel butterflies in my stomach I want to be nervous about some boy I meet, but everything I feel now is fear. It scares me to death to talk to ANYBODY. It could be my mom or my favourite person in the whole world - I can’t talk to him, but at the same time I don’t want to be alone, notwithstanding, I can’t deal with communication and sociality, but the only way to do something is to define my goals. The first thing I could do which wasn’t psychically too painful for me was to go on the internet. I’m not on Facebook and stuff like that, I don’t even own a computer.
By the time I reached home it was dark and it was time to do something that most people do except for me, sleep. I never sleep and just overthink about everything. Especially about what Max told me earlier today. I thought to myself, if Max couldn’t even help me, then I will need to help myself. The question was how.
The color of the glass in each room is the same as that of the interior of each room, except for the seventh from the far west. The windowpane here is scarlet, red, thick and blood-red, and black velvet curtains are densely covering the room from the ceiling to the walls. Flames are shining through the blood-red window glass behind dark curtains. In front of the west wall of this house lies a giant ebony clock, through which Allan Poe associates red and black with death and
The alarm clock stared me down as the time flashed like a warning signal. Each beep makes me more anxious and I kick the sheets off in a panic. Although the loss of power is not alarming, I suddenly realized how alone I now was. I could not walk down the hall and have someone to talk to. I could not wake someone up for the sake of company because no one could relate to my surroundings anymore.
Leave me alone.” “I’m not leaving until you talk to me.” I arrive at my door and proceed into my room and turn around to face my mother. “What do you want to talk about? You’re the worst parent and holding me hostage in my own house. I wish I had different parents.” I slam my door in her face and chuck my backpack against the wall. I then text all my friends about my situation and they all agree with me.
I know this must be really hard for you, but I promise I’ll try my best to treat you the way I used to, as if nothing ever happened. That is, with a little help of course.” I wanted everything to be as normal as it could be. I didn’t want anyone to be upset because I didn’t say or do what I ordinarily would’ve. I needed people to tell me who I was before things took a turn for the worst, to help me remember so that no one would be left
While I reach for the doorbell, and gently pushing it, I feel ill. I can slightly hear my mom talking to my dad through the door. I can glimpse the shadow of her in the glass window, and I can hear the recognizable footsteps of her slippers, making that clicking noise that used to make me furious. The door opens up, and I force a smile. “Sweetie!
Be good to them or i'll be knocking at your door like the reaper taking your life.” he said Just as he finished speaking i felt a hard hit against my head everything became fuzzy and dark i hit the floor staring into my lovers eyes. I feel like everything is a dream that nothing is real at all but I wake up in the same room I woke up last time. I’m going to exscape today I have to. I say to myself. I wait for the nurse to give me my sedditive when I ask “ do u think I can go to the bathroom I really have to go and believe me u don’t want me to get kidney stones.” I say “Fine” she untied me and thrashed the sheets off my cold body “ follow me” she yelled walking out of the room leading me down past the tub room I get lead to a large bathroom.