Disadvantages Of Friendships

A friend of me once coined the term “confession trauma.” It’s definition is as follows: to have your guy friends keep developing crushes on you, you keep having to turn them down, things keep getting awkward, then friendships are ruined. The cycle repeats until you develop a certain exasperation centered on your guy friends, always trying to guess – who’s going to be next? I personally have been experiencing the above-mentioned symptoms for a while now. Totaling up to a number of six (a large value in relation to my small friend groups) cases, I could recall each stage with detail. It all starts with simple friendship. My idea of dating is that I would never date anyone who I am not friends with – I do not look at people and categorize them into “Friend material” and “Boyfriend material.” Sometimes it works out, and other times it does not. When it does work out, we grow closer – chatting online, hanging out, midnight heart-to-heart conversations. Then things start bordering flirting – there are one-to-one movie dates, nicknames applied, and a compliment here or a gift there. Usually by this stage, my suspicion arises – and then my brain shuts itself down because 1) I don’t want to face it and 2) I enjoy the attention. And who doesn’t? Being adored by people is a great feeling – and flirting is fun. Eventually, the confession comes. “I just want to be friends,” I would say. A mixture of response follows: “But I really thought I had a chance.” “Oh… okay.” “Are you trying to