Parentification In Childhood

We live in a complex, unpredictable world, filled with an array of family styles and personalities. Whether or not we recognize it, the family in which one is raised or currently resides plays a pivotal role in their development and opportunities. As the bioecological theory explains, individuals exists within different areas of influence and all of these interactions blend to shape family functioning (Howe, 2018). While we should not blame our circumstance on where we came from, it is crucial that we understand how our childhood influences why we are the way we are. One phenomenon that affects several families, particularly ones with low-income, is parentification. According to a study by the Families in Society Foundation, parentification

In an article published by the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, it was found that adolescences that understood their parent’s condition were likely to grow in their personal awareness of emotions, build a network of supportive connections, and use their parent’s circumstance as a motivation for personal development (Parys, H. V., Bonnewyn, A., Hooghe, A., Mol, J. D., & Rober, P., 2014). In another research study titled, “Oversized Loads: Child Parentification in Low-Income Families and Underlying Parent–Child Dynamics”, it was stated that children who are parentified take more initiative in certain tasks and are overall more caring (Chee, L. P., Goh, E., & Kuczynski, L., 2014). However, it can become overwhelming for the child and it is likely that he or she feels incapable of pursuing their own dreams because they are too busy providing for their family or always need to take care of

After getting divorced, my mother’s depression worsened and she was unable to complete everyday tasks such as grocery shopping, paying bills, or taking my siblings to school. Once I recognized the need for these tasks, I took the initiative to take care of them. When schoolwork and volleyball practices increased, I found myself unable to take care of my family which resulted in guilt. Ultimately, I quit the volleyball team because I felt responsible for taking care of my mom and younger siblings. I felt as if I needed to get a job so I could begin financially providing for them as well. While I had nearly perfected my time-management skills and became incredibly independent, I was often overwhelmed and felt guilty whenever I took time for myself. I nearly talked myself out of applying for college my senior year because I felt guilty about leaving my siblings behind and having them fill my role. However, a new social worker stepped into my life that encouraged me to pursue my personal goals and provided my siblings with mentors and resources that they can reach out to. Without such resources, I would have likely been stuck in the same position and unable to pursue a higher