Essay On Dialectical Tension

Relationships do not just happen. They seem to just form, but they actually follow a natural process that must be worked through. Sam Avers and I became friends in fifth grade. We were introduced through a mutual friend and we have been friends since then. Therefore, we have grown a pretty close relationship. However, when we both decided to room together at University of North Texas, our friendship took a different turn. Since then, our relationship has dealt with different dialectical tensions, but we have overcame them by using the four strategies: selection, separation, neutralization, and reframing.
In order to understand the strategies to solving dialectical tensions are, one must understand what the three main relational dialects are.

This is where two people in a relationship choose to satisfy both sides of the dialectical need, but in separate areas of life. Since Sam and I moved into the dorms, we have had an issue with sharing. Both of us are open to sharing some things but not others. So, to satisfy both sides of the openness and closedness need we have agreed to share some things but not all things. Sam and I agreed to share clothes but we decided to buy our own snacks and groceries. This is seperating our dialectical need of openness and closedness of sharing into to different areas. Therefore, this is the selection strategy for handling dialectical tensions.
The third method of handling dialectical tensions is neutralization. This is a compromise where both dialectical needs are met to some degree, but not fully. It is finding a middle ground. An example would be where two partners in a relationship find a happy medium between autonomy and connectedness. Sam and I demonstrate this during lifting weight. We both like to workout, however I like to workout alone. Therefore we found this middle ground where we go to the gym together, but workout separately. This is one way we satisfy both autonomy and connectedness at the same time and it is called