Essay On Grief In It's Not Summer Without You

Sienna Boe

Mr. Newcomb

English 10B, Hour 4

May 30, 2023

Grief

Grief is something that everyone knows and has most likely experienced before. The Oxford Dictionary defines grief as a deep sorrow, especially caused by someone’s death. Grief varies from person to person and is never the same. In It's Not Summer Without You by Jenny Han, we see grief portrayed throughout the book after the death of one of the main characters. I will expressly be informing you about the grieving process and the social expectations set over grieving. Social normalities set on grief are not able to truly explain the process of grieving. Four well-known stages of grief include denial, anger, depression, and acceptance. Research found in the Journal of the American

Someone's grieving process can be shortened or lengthened depending on their relation to who they are grieving, how recent the loss is, or the type of loss that occurred. A study conducted in the International Journal of Phycology informed its readers, “As expected, subjects deemed it inappropriate to show positive emotions and experiences 1 month after a hypothetical death and more inappropriate to show negative reactions 1 year later…” This information informs us of the social normalities that these people have about the emotions you should be feeling during someone's grieving period. Later in this section of the article they write about how the expectations of socially appropriate behaviors are higher for someone who has lost a child rather than someone who had just lost a spouse. In their research they concluded that people tend to think of attending a social event, spending time with a partner, feeling sorry for oneself, and participating in personally satisfying activities much more appropriate 1 month after a death rather than 1 year.(International Journal of Phycology). We can see how people expect grief to be about a month long process but in reality someone's healing can vastly vary in time. People set expectations in their mind that if you are still going through grief even after a year then it is inappropriate but this process is different for everybody, and that is what needs to be set as the social normality. Continuing on with the study, “...subjects also found it more inappropriate to feel sorry for oneself when one lost a spouse rather than a child.” People should be able to grieve in their own way no matter what the type of loss was, but the social acceptance expectations have set a child loss to be more grief worthy than one who has lost a spouse. One should not have to feel as if they can’t grieve over their loss because of the social norms. A loss is a loss, and grief is grief, so