Why People Stay In Abusive Relationships
Whether a person is male or female, they could still be in an abusive relationship and be scared to leave. “On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men” (NCADV). If abusive relationships are so damaging, why do people continue to stay is these relationships? Reason why they stay are: “Power and control over the one getting abused, Fear of making major life changes, and Belief that she/he is the only one who can help the abuser with his/her problems”( “Why Do…”).
A person in an abusive relationship stays because of the power and control the abuser has over the victim. They are scared to leave
…show more content…
“After an abusive incident comes a honeymoon phase” (11 reasons...). This makes their partner minimize the abuse that they receive. In an abusive relationship men/women buy their partner what he/she want so that they won’t leave. Therefore the victim doesn’t want to lose what they are receiving. They aren’t happy, but they can show off what they have and make their friends jealous. The victim does lose a major thing in their life. They mostly likely will lose a place they once called home, their vehicle they drove to get to and from work if they worked. Losing those items that an abuser provided the victim with isn’t a bad thing, your family or friend will take you in with no problem and they will possibly even help develop you into a powerful person. Getting rid of a negative partner in your life will only open up better opportunities therefore you’ll be able to take care of yourself and stand up for yourself. Consequently, getting abused leads to a person not trusting anyone and thinking they are going to get abusive by everyone they get in a relationship
In my life I have never encountered someone who has gone through abuse so when I began reading more of Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen, I got to get a sense of what an abusive relationship is like. I learned how hard it is to leave the relationship and how it affects the person. In my book one of the main characters, Marlena, married a very controlling and violent man named August. Marlena was naive and married him at the age of 17 and joined the circus just after she met him.
For many people growing up in an abusive lifestyle they are more than likely to carry on the “tradition” of abusing. “ "Thief! I did not raise you a thief, but you are one when I was your age, I was away from home, working. You only steal from me." "I didn't" He hit me hard in the face, and I stumbled back onto my bed.
It is also hard for abusers to trust the people that are trying to help them because they feel attacked in a way. At this point the abuser feels like the whole world is against him or
Unfortunately this is a common situation many women in the book are faced with. They need a roof over their heads to at least have a chance of getting out of the below standard life they are in. People become desperate in this situation that they will take the abuse if they can keep paying rent in the home they have just moved into. Many domestic abuse situations were seen more as a nuisance rather than a serious issue that needed to be faced, “A woman reporting domestic violence was far more likely to land her landlord a nuisance citation if she lived in the inner city. In the vast majority of cases (83 percent), landlords who received a nuisance citation for domestic violence responded by either evicting the tenants or by threatening to evict them for future
Many abusive relationships are built on the foundation that the perpetrator wants control. It also emphasizes the fact that many people feel stuck in the situation or feel that they belong in that situation because they have no other experiences of healthy
This second coping mechanism was very interesting to read as many women do so and often found help within their friends, family or community resources however, not all run with the same opportunity to do so. Lastly, I found it important to know that “there is a difference in the use of coping strategies between women who experienced or witnessed abuse in their families or origin and the ones who did not experience or witnessed abuse” (Roberts, pg. 570). For those who have not been in an abusive situation we always think of why the victim didn’t leave the
Signs of abusive relationships are possessiveness, jealousy, put-downs, and threats. About 60% of young women have been abused. 29% of these women say they have been in an abusive relationship, and
They choose and stay for many reasons maybe they choose to be selfish for a positive outcome. We are humans and sometimes dominated by our flesh, we in our society make sacrifices in order to obtain what we most desire but I can say that in America’s society child abuse is unacceptable. Are some of us living in Omelas individually? There have been many cases where children are abused by one of their parents, adoptive or paternal, their step parents and because of “love” the good parent might accept it. People look into many features when creating a family sometimes leaving love at the end, am I going to be financially secure, will my children have quality education, or privilege’s that I alone cannot afford.
Abusers always want things to get better but for some it never will. Some people don’t even recognize that they are in a abuse relationship, and if they do recognize they are still dealing with it because most likely their is a kid involved. If you think your in a domestic violence relationship contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline or you can think about the things I mention earlier and see is anything relates to you and your relationship. “Don’t let your loyalty become slavery. If they don’t appreciate what you bring to the table… then let them eat alone” - Anonymous.
- When abuse has been ongoing for a length of time , the victim can feel like she/he deserves the abuse, is in denial over the extent of the abuse, embarrassed about others finding out, fear being killed if they left and fear the impact on the children or losing the children. Many victims of domestic and family violence, believe nothing can be done for them- they see on the news how little action is done such as in the case of Benjamin Ard and the assault of two women. In this case Ard charged with domestic violence, but was released from jail on $1,000 cash bail. He went on to breach his bail and was then charged with domestic violence assault and violating the conditions of release from a prior charge; he was sentenced to only thirteen months
A lot of times when people hear and talk about domestic abuse, the lines are blurred around the term victim. Too many times people forget the true meaning of that word, especially concerning instances of domestic violence. There are many reasons why victims stay. Some victims believe that love is something that is strong enough to conquer even the worst of obstacles. In the eyes of these victims, the individual that they fell in love with and their abuser are practically two different people.
People in an abusive relationship have it tougher than you think. In an abusive relationship it is immensely hard to just get up and leave if they are the victim. People in relationships that have an abusive spouse or partner involved find it a lot harder to break up with them then it seems. People should start inspiring others to stand up for yourself and do what needs to be done to keep yourself
A child who experiences trauma of domestic violence will hinder their emotional growth, hence the child will not develop and maintain a normal level of trust. A child that experiences domestic violence or is exposed to domestic violence can develop a fear of their environment, for they think that everyone will try to hurt them. They also do not trust anyone with their problems or issues, hence they will keep everything inside and this will affect their state of mind. An abused spouse may experience chronic psydiasmatic pain or pain due to diffuse trauma without visible evidence. This form of pain will have a very bad effect on the body.
Relationship abuse is a pattern of coercive and abusive behaviors. Most of the time when abuse goes on during a relationship, it is kept a secret because the victim is afraid of telling. The behaviors that go on are to maintain total control over a spouse or an intimate partner. Relationship is a choice or in other words it’s a learned behavior. Most abusers believe that they can do what they want and get away with it.
Emotional abuse is sometimes also known as psychological abuse, which is the continuing emotional violation of a person by another and can have a severe impact upon a person’s life. It can comprise intentionally trying to intimidate, scare, frighten or humiliate a person. Emotional abuse leaves the offender free to gain authority and control over someone through his behaviors, language and gestures, which with the passage of time reduce the person’s sense of self-worth, self-belief and confidence. Due to the fact that psychological abuse contains no physical torture and there are no visible physical signs, sometimes, it can be hard to identify it.