The social norms I decided to break were the unwritten rules of eye contact. In general, we all adhere to the descriptive norm of eye contact being normal. However, there is a fine line in the injunctive norms that tell us what is correct eye contact and what is incorrect. It is normal to look a person in the eye while in conversation; in fact, it is considered rude not too. In addition, there is the norm that tells us to break eye contact when a person has finished speaking and the conversation as stalled. The two specific acts I set out to do were, not look someone in the eye during conversation, and not break eye contact when the conversation has paused.
I was seated in a hallway while waiting for a class to start. A classmate arrived,
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I expected the outcome to be a little different because of the higher level of familiarity. While in conversation, I repeated the process as before. This time my observer noticed a physical reaction even though we were in a public setting. When I did not make eye contact during conversation my friend shifted as is to draw attention back to her, yet she made no noticeable negative feedback. When I switched to making silent eye contact, my friend would laugh and raise her eyebrows and even nod. I took this as an invitation to say whatever she thought I may want to say but was not. This reminded me of the reciprocity discussed on page 194. Because she was more interested in sharing open conversation, she disregarded social norms. She was expecting me to return that favor to her, at this point I felt my experiment had backfired.
I believe our familiarity affected the outcome because instead of feeling insulted by breaking social norms she went right along with me. This makes sense to me because the eye contact norm is more relevant with strangers and acquaintances. Spouses can sit in quiet eye contact for long periods without any uncomfortableness. From this is would conclude that looking another person in the eye is a personal act. The closer we are with a person the more we are comfortable with and why we are easily offended by the stranger’s silent eye
On the first excerpt, the man attempted to catch the waiter’s attention by raising his hand. Consequently, the waiter acknowledged the gesture of the customer, and returned it by locking eyes with him. However, the former was not able to attend immediately to the needs of the man because he was about to hand me the pub’s menu. Meanwhile, the man, who was the subject of the second excerpt, also tried to be noticed by the waitress by establishing an eye contact. But, because their location was far from one another, the waitress failed to notice that someone needs to be attended.
Displaying similar body language during a cross-examination would normally suggest guilt and a lack of respect. However, the non-verbal actions made by the witness are the opposite of their interpretation. This is due to the actions being appropriate in the cultural context, as making direct eye contact with individuals who are not of relation, is seen to be impolite, while speaking loud like the prosecutor suggests, can be seen as aggressive. Therefore, the prosecutor should have been aware of the cultural differences for non-verbal actions before interpreting the witness’ body language to presume that he was ashamed and
Addition to keeping personal subjects excluded, is to ensure to “Always look people in the face when you fpeak to them, otherwife you will be thought confcious of fome” (49). The principle of looking at someone’s face while they are talking is modest and respectful to the individual speaking. Throughout the eighteenth century people attended gatherings such as salons. A Salon is “an assembly of guests in such a room, especially an assembly, common during the 17th and 18th centuries, consisting of the leaders in society, art, politics, etc.” (Dictionary.com).
Women tend to look at whoever she’s speaking to in their eyes, face to face, without any distractions often giving listener noises such as mhm, uhuh, and yeah; she likes the listener’s full attention. Men on the other hand, tend to bounce from subject to subject, not looking at the person they are speaking to, and curiously looking around. Men often find that women’s listener noises are frustrating and one man even complained that his wife only had one view of looking at something, that when he tried to show her another way, she got mad at
This theory was made by Michael Argyle (1925- 2002), who was a social psychologist. In the late 1960s he studied social skills, body language, non-verbal communication and interpersonal behaviour. In this study, he found that non-verbal signals can be much more important and useful than verbal communication when trying to trigger peoples’ attitudes and feelings. His research showed and found that the stronger the relationship between the people communicating so with close friends for example the much better eye contact. However, when the relationship is not very strong so when speaking to a stranger people don’t have very good eye contact and they tend to look away when talking.
Silence is an important part of many Aboriginal conversations as it indicates a form of respect and the participants desire to think. This difference could have serious implication throughout the legal process as silence could easily be interpreted as ignorance, confusion or guilt of a crime or a testimony. Further disadvantages suffered by Aboriginal people in legal questioning concerns cultural difference in the use of eye contact. Direct eye contact is frequently avoided in Aboriginal interactions as it is deemed threatening or rude. Inversely, the avoidance of eye contact is interpreted as rudeness or dishonestly in non-Aboriginal interaction in Australia.
It also has been a personal observance of mine to notice the lack of eye contact within some situations.
I feel when a person does not make eye contact they are lying or hiding something. This surprising fact would influence my work in the future, because I will know that it is not because of hiding or lying, it how Native Americans choose to
Avoiding eye contact, changing our outfits or routes to avoid it is not the solution. Women are not the ones that make the solution, men do. Saying that it depends on where you live or what you wear is not an excuse it happens at any time of the day, to people of every race, age, class, and sexual orientation. Getting complimented on the streets is not flattering.
As an American we believe that continuously staring at someone is rude and can come off as threatening (Changing Minds). In caribbean culture, it is common to have others stare someone without the thought of it being disrespectful. In both Haitian and Montserratian culture staring at someone shows interest in whatever they may be doing (Culture Crossing Guide). Even though each culture has their differences, some share similarities. America and Montserrat have similar social expectations when greeting someone.
Most American people conserve eye contact while communicating, and also they are expertise in showing enthusiasm and compassion. When greeting in social situations women pat each other on the right forearm or on the shoulder, rather than shake hands where as men shake hands until they know someone well, at which time they progress to a more traditional hug and back slapping. conversation take place in close physical distance when stepping back may be regarded as unfriendly. generally, people refrain to use first names
Although locking eyes may not seem like much eye contact generally symbolises respect and creates a connection between two
There were also occasions where the dentist did not look at the patient at all since he/ she was either busy finishing up on the clinical notes for the previous patient or busy roaming through the attendance book when the patient enters the room. Both the duration of a single glance and the frequency of looks dedicated to the patient are crucial in maintaining communication through eye contact. The patient will have an impression that the dentist is neglecting what he/she feels during the dental procedure if the dentist only focuses on the inside of the mouth, equipments, dental assistant's work and avoids looking at the patient's face. A good dentist should be able to notice the current mental state of the patient just by looking at the patient’s facial expression, for example if the patient avoids eye contact as he/she feels uncertain, anxious for dentist's prescribed treatment, frequently blinks due to fear or immediately closes his/her eyes due to pain.
I was paying full attention to the explanations from my classmates, however because of the symbolism that eye contact holds, my classmates were reluctant to believe that I did give them my
Eye contact also plays a vital role in effective communication. There are times when we experience words that come out of our mouth and the ways we communicate through our body language are totally different. In this kind of situation, the receiver has to determine whether to believe verbal or nonverbal message. Regularly the receiver would select the nonverbal as it is more natural and it truly displays the speaker’s true feeling and intention. The gestures such as the way we sit, how fast and how loud we talk and how much eye contact we make send strong messages to the receiver.