7th grade came along and I was “whore and ugly” by my school mates, and “loser and dumb” from my family. By this time I was used to being called names and thought depression was normal. It was the summer of 7th grade, I was going into 8th grade and decided that I want to transfer schools to try to help this problem I was going through. Summer ended, school started and so did the name calling. By this point I was fed up with everything.
and then was court ordered to move in with my mom, things changed. I know had a little half-brother who would grow up to be my best friend. Throughout high school I would turn to my family in support with bullies and petty girl drama. They were my rock. My Junior and Senior year were the toughest emotionally.
With my brothers it was different because they snuck out of the house and my mom would wake up in the morning and see them missing and then she would lock all the doors, so they couldn’t come back inside of the house. What my mom did was really drastic, but she did it for a good reason he never asked permission. The only friends I really have is 2 good friends and I barley talk to them because there’s nothing to talk about once high school is over I still have to worry about
and i completely changed i didnt want to go outside i just wanted to stay in where i couldnt be hurt. 8th grade year was when i lashed out i did all kinds of drugs was always in fights i pretty much just gave up until i met my friend taylor. she had a really bad case of cystic fibrosis but she didnt let it slow her down it amazed me. me and her became really close friends and she helped me through everything. i cant say enough good things about her if it was for her i probably wouldnt
After that I finally understood what my friends were talking about, but instead of boys it was girls and that scared the hell out of me. Ages thirteen through sixteen were tough, I was angry, confused, scared and at times even hated myself. My family and friends noticed the change, but I didn’t want to talk about it, I didn’t even understand what was happening with me. I was always a huge bookworm and reading was my escape, one day I was in the city library and stumbled across Annie on My
I could have easily continued to be sad about my life and I would probably be in the same boat I was junior year. But instead I decided to view things as an opportunity, realizing along the way that I could use all the bad in the world to make myself a better person. I began to grow very thankful for my life and the hardships I had faced because I understood that they built the person I am, and continue
I was embarrassed and felt like that shy little girl again who was afraid of the world and to talk to people. These teachers made me feel like I was worthless and that I wouldn’t go anywhere in life. That’s when I knew that I had to leave, if I didn’t I knew I would always seen in my brother’s shadow and not in my own light. Since I was little I have always been shy and never really spoke up or defended myself, but from that year in school I learned that it’s okay to defend yourself
During my junior year of high school was when my brother began skipping school and ignoring all of his school work. He would take the morning school bus just to prove to my mom he was going to school, but immediately get off the bus to go on a two hour walk back home to lock himself in his room. It was until we begin receiving automated messages from the school stating that my brother was absent for the day. He was diagnosed with mild autism and slight depression hindering his performance in school, his social life, and even life at home. When the matter was addressed, my brother would ignore all confrontation and suddenly go missing for a day.
I was withdrawn from my previous middle school and things were rather calm at home I threw myself into my school work and found a sense of secret control threw self-harming and obsessive dieting it was rewarding to see the numbers go down on the scale, and up in the books. I was still withdrawn and sick I was just better at hiding it and the layers of secrecy in my life would build with age like the rings in a tree trunk. It was nearly the end of my eight grade school year before anyone intervened. The boy I sat at lunch with had tried killing himself the difference was, he warned people in his family and got caught plus help. He was put into therapy and on medication but I was also caught in the spotlight the school found out about my cutting
My best friend had committed suicide on August 5th. She was 14 and i was 11. I was devastated beyond belief. I've never told my family, and i never will.
We all have stereotypes, whether we choose to call them that or not. We judge someone on if they’re smart, dangerous, or snobby because of where they come from or what they look like before we even know their first name. I am no exception to this, as is the rest of the population. I will admit that I have judged people before. It’s hard to break from the societal norm of stereotyping others. I try not to, but I slip at some points too and judge someone before I truly know them.
I don’t like to talk about what happened, but afterwards, I was so used to being disappointed and being alone that I did what I had always done. I hid what had happened, and tried to forget, but there are just some things you can’t forget. I developed a natural distrust for everyone, including my family, and I shut myself out from everyone. This led to the development of a few mental issues, and inevitably, my suicide attempts. After high school, I made a few friends and began to open up a bit more, but with that, my past began emerging.
I stopped trying to have a friend, I figured no-one would want to be friends with what I had become. I didn't care anymore, I had come to picture everyone as a jerk. Which got me into a lot of fights and my attitude just drove my teachers crazy. I even started thinking suicidal thoughts. I had fantasies of killing myself.
I stopped trying to have a friend, I figured no-one would want to be friends with what I had become. I didn't care anymore, I had come to picture everyone as a jerk. Which got me into a lot of fights and my attitude just drove my teachers crazy. I even started thinking suicidal thoughts. I had fantasies of killing myself.
I tried my best to make it seem like I was untroubled or cheery. The friends I had for such a long time started to realize that I was unwanted, put down, and laughed at so they started keeping their distance from me until I completely lost them; they did not want to be seen with me, I was an embarassment to them, a burden. That was when I started changing; I couldn't eat because I was so dissapointed in myself, I couldn't have a single bite because I felt so disgusting. I spent so much time looking into a mirror trying to figure out what was wrong with me and why people hated me so much. I didn't sleep thinking about how I was going to get through the next day, the stress piled up and I decided to take it out on me by self harm.