Adversity does not even begin to cover the full extent of this challenge I have faced my entire life. To grow up knowing you are unwelcomed and undesired, a criminal, and not understanding why, is difficult and something a child should never go through. But I did. I grew up undocumented and was forced to undergo shame at being “other.” The embarrassment and anger I felt at being asked if I had “papers” by a classmate developed into deep depression and anxiety.
Before coming to Job Corps, I had days when I was so depressed, I just stop doing what was right and from that point on, the street was the only I saw myself. The family was my enemy, friends were no longer there, at least the ones I thought I had. I didn’t want to talk to anyone because I had nothing positive to say. I can honestly say my biggest mistake I made as youngster, was me giving up on school. I could have cared less about all the wrong I have done.
My childhood was lost because of this, but since coming out a new world has opened. When I started my freshman year of high school I was quiet, extremely introverted, depressed, and always anxious. I didn’t how to make friends, I had no friends, and I was at a new school. My world was turned upside down, but for the first time in my life, I could be who I wanted to be, which was myself. I didn’t want to trapped inside myself anymore and didn’t want to be afraid of what the world could do to me.
A few months after the diagnosis, the disease was manageable and I was able to live my riveting 14-year-old life. Two years later, I had relapsed for the fourth time and stuck in a brightly-colored hospital room once again. The three weeks I spent there proved to be even more difficult than the initial struggle. Through my anxiety-ridden thoughts and the never-ending tubes and needles, I felt powerless and was unable to imagine myself seamlessly entering my junior year of high school.
Both my mother and my father are diagnosed with this disorder but for different reasons that this chapter has further explained. I previously thought that each had the disorder for the same types of causes. I found that while I knew my mothers was caused by a chemical imbalance or a biological response, my father 's cause is psychodynamic due to his bipolar disorder stemming from his rough childhood where there were deep issues with his parents. Each suffers from manic episodes, usually starting at one extreme of either extreme anger or frustration and ending at being extremely happy.
Even if I were to look between the lines, I can see nothing but betrayal, although we had never been together; we had never been enough. What spell, I wonder, has he cast upon me, for I have never felt pain as explosive as this before. It was like dying in every painful way you can imagine; it was hell for me to witness such a thing. Gorgeous faith turned into repulsing anger, and although
I fell into depression when I was 13 years old. No one knew. I laughed at jokes and smiled at classmates, all the while feeling a hollow sadness that did not go away. I cried myself to sleep for apparently no reasons other than that sadness I felt. And I hated myself for crying for no reason.
What I am trying to say is that it is more of the adults fault for the behavers found in the child. It is said in brain studies that an adolescent’s brain tissue is missing around that age which leads them to make impulsive decisions without reasoning. Know put together the fact that an adolescent has issues and the fact that they can’t reason together. It can create a problem. Kid need someone to guide them and care for them rather than a society that just lets them be and gives up on them.
I was not as motivated to play sports and was always described as a shy person throughout my first years of high schools, which is quite the opposite as what I had come accustomed too. I was able to combat these stressors slowly as I made my way into friendships and cemented my social standing in groups which erased many of the behaviours I produced throughout my early teens. The second major case of Distress that I have faced throughout my life was the summer holidays after finishing high school. I found it hard to deal with many of these stressors but by focusing on anti-stress techniques, applying these anti-stress techniques made managing distress more
Anxiety. Something I have lived with my whole life, something that I thought was normal, something I thought everyone just dealt with. Never did I realize that what I was going through was not normal, and it was most certainly not healthy. For the first 14 years or so of my life, I survived by simply ignoring the feeling, acting like nothing was wrong, and never saying a word to anyone. That is, until I no longer could.
Esch in Salvage the Bones, by Samantha Grey, could have prevented getting pregnant, but she could not prevent the hurricane. I could have prevented eating edibles of marijuana, but I could not prevent developing an anxiety disorder. I’ve associated my events with edibles to my anxiety disorder because I had not developed it until after my experience. After my first semester had ended at Xavier, it was now winter break. I was very excited to be back home and see all my friends that had gone off to college and come back.
What does it mean to be a felon? A dreadful question, I never dreamt I would have to ask myself. In order to answer the question one must fully understand the definition of a felon and felony. What is a felon? A felon is a person who has been convicted of a felony, which is a crime punishable by death or a term in a state or federal prison.