I feel alienated in a lot of different environments such as my family. Most people look up to their parents or they feel able to talk to them about certain issues. I haven’t had that kind of bond in a long time with them. I’ve never felt like I could speak my mind. To me no matter what I said it was always wrong somehow. Even though I know it’s not, I have this aching fear that I am wrong. I’m always looking for support, but my parents aren’t people I see as supporting factors in my life. Even though I know that as parents they’d support me through anything, although it’s hard to feel it when it seems like my mom doesn’t support a simple religious decision. I think that a part of me feels missing because I’m missing this connection. In the end I want them to be there for me, to be the parents in movies …show more content…
As extroverted as I am sometimes I wish I had a tight knit friendship. Before this year I didn’t have one set of friends I was committed to. I wanted to fill a void I would run around trying to find a person that fit my other half. I was different from everyone, I didn 't really like the same hobbies as anyone. I would hang out with Ianna, Iris, Emily, etc. I felt like I was embarrassing them. I wasn’t as girly as Emily, did I belong? It seemed like they were stuck with me rather than choosing to hang out with me. Even when I was with them I would feel alone. If I was hanging out with Emma and all her friends, I was an odd one out I couldn’t play the part. During seventh grade I sit with Emma, Ezzy, Jasmine, and a couple others. They had some drama I wasn’t a part in. When I would finally sat down next to them they would be really to talk it out. This happened time and time again, at the time I didn’t know there was drama. Were they leaving, because I was there? Did they not like me? I felt isolated away from everyone, if they would leave me did anyone else want to be my
I tried to help them destress. I ran into Sadie and her boyfriend who just got back from a date. I also ran into Kayla who was filling up their water bottle.
You could just chalk it up to being a kid, however, I never knew how much it would affect my life going forward. I ruined my credibility, reputation, and relationships with certain friends and teachers through my actions and some of those relationships remain the
In the beginning of the year I hung out with my hall a lot because I did not know many people yet. We all drifted apart once we found our
I had made some friends of my own, but did not feel entirely welcomed by others. I struggled to fit in with the girls and could not figure out why I felt so alienated. I was always nice and friendly so it confused me why I was not accepted. While it was nothing entirely mean, rumors were spread that some of my sorority sisters felt I did not fit because I did not party like they did or because they simply could not see me as their sister. It hurt my self-esteem to hear that the values I cherished were not
It all began after my first semester here at A&M. I was somewhat disappointed because I had hoped to meet lots of new people and make new friends but that wasn’t exactly the case. You hear how people make some of their truest and lifelong friends in college however, after my first semester I still didn’t have any friends here. It was hard because I moved here from Idaho so I was completely starting over and also because I was fairly shy. So here was my first summer in Texas
All throughout my life, people describe me as outgoing, eager, and sociable. I never went through that common mousy phase in my life because I was never around people that made me feel shy. I became more confident, humble, and well-rounded. I would not be the person I am today without that youth group. I’ve made life long friends that I know will be my bridesmaids for my wedding.
Thankfully unlike my previous school I attended, the kids that go to Liberty Benton are a bunch of prima donnas. Meaning, I was never pushed around and beaten up. The kids here use their popularity to bring you down because they turn everyone against you for something that happened once. They would notice small details that I used and turn it against me, like when I get nervous I stutter my words. So, instead of embarrassing myself in front of the whole school even more, I kept quiet and didn’t talk much unless I was required to speak.
Elie Wiesel’s work, Night, published in 1958, demonstrates the struggles Jewish society and other minorities faced in order to live a life of liberty. I, myself, felt bound and trapped, but not by iron doors, but by words. Even though being open and social can help communication growth, rudeness and unnecessary judgement can hinder one’s ability to be social and make them feel like expressing themselves is not possible. August 21, 2010, as my mother pulled up to the side of Georgetown Middle School, I remember thinking “I hope Mrs. Hope gives me hope.” My blood was pounding from the adrenaline, and my stomach was in knots knowing that in a few moments, I would be taking my first steps into an unusual environment for the next three years.
I left friends that I’ve known since kindergarten. So when the fourth grade started, I was completely alone. I had to get to know my surroundings, try and meet new friends, and figure out how things worked around here. Then in the seventh grade, things really went downhill. That was when everything started to change.
This created a great rift between me and the people that had been my friends. I began trying to hang out with friends but found they were always busy while I was home reading, waiting for an adventure. I had managed to keep a few of my friends and these people are still my friends today, but first I had to deal with being solitary for a while. After I accepted the way school, and friends were going to go I only faced one obstacle. Almost my entire life changed after my move, I had a new routine, some new friends, and a new way I had to learn.
That year, I did not have any friends, even though I was around other freshman new to the school. Everyone knew each other and had their own clique they would hang out with, which left me alone. At this school, my peers treated each other with disrespect. Of course, I had people to talk to, but they were not the ones I wanted to call my friends. I
From this day, I still remember how lonely I felt and how badly I wanted to be accepted. I dreaded to go to recess because I wasn't sure what type of crowd I would “ fit in” with. As I walked in class, I saw everyone divided into various cliques and eventually I found myself every week trying to fit in with a different one. I tried my best to act like those kids in order to fit in, I changed so many things such as my attitude, my clothing, my hairstyles and how I spoke in the span of one year. I was so desperate to feel like I was not alone and had real friends that I basically would’ve done anything for others to like me.
Fitting in has always been difficult for me which is why I have always had a difficult time getting to meet new people. Whether it 's in a new college, high school, middle school, elementary school, church school, soccer team, etc., I always seem to be the “quiet” one of the bunch and it never fails to draw people 's attention. I believe I was shy and not very talkative because of my height, my teeth (before I had braces), and because of my past speech issues, to name a few, but most of this has changed ever since. I no longer have crooked teeth or a stutter in my speech and I am now able to speak to a large group of people without getting nervous or scared, or so I thought. Moving from Victorville to Riverside taught me that the people you once called friends can leave you in a heartbeat just because you moved 52 miles away from them.
Overworked. That’s the closest word that I could use to describe this week. I feel like this journal is going to be about me just bickering, yet there is some stuff you might want to read about. First of all, I have been sleeping three hours this week because of upcoming midterms, quizzes, and assignments due. I am sleep deprived and mentally drained and as my second year in college I have never had my life drained out of my body like a passing shadow.
Niall 's POV I wanted to go to the dance but I would be miserable there. After I told everyone that I had a deep secrect hatred for them and that my sister was Hope... well I guess it 's not a secret anymore