Counselling Reflection Paper

In Chapter 2 we discussed the need for counsellors to try to be non-judgmental. Can you imagine what it would be like if you were a client talking to a counsellor and as you were talking you formed the impression that the counsellor was disapproving of you, or of what you were saying? We suspect that in such a situation you would feel inhibited and might decide that it was not wise to talk openly to this counsellor. Alternatively, can you imagine what it would be like for you if the counsellor seemed to be troubled by what you were saying and was questioning whether your values and beliefs were acceptable? Once again, we suspect that you might feel uncertain about continuing to disclose information. Clearly, there is a risk that the counselling process will be compromised if the counsellor appears to be judgmental.

Sometimes it is very hard not to be judgmental. I, David, have found that it is especially hard when I am confused or not clear about my own values or beliefs. When I am not clear, I find that I can easily show disapproval, or get distracted by spending time thinking

It is appropriate that as young people we accept without question the values and beliefs of those adults who are important in our lives. To use a Gestalt therapy concept, these values and beliefs are swallowed whole. In Gestalt therapy, they are said to have been introjected and are called introjects. As we grow up our values and beliefs will change as we accept some of our earlier values and beliefs but modify others in the light of our own experiences. Clearly though, our values and beliefs are likely to be influenced by both the cultural background in which we grew up as children and by the contemporary culture of the societal group within which we live. As counsellors we are therefore likely, at times, to work with clients who may have quite different values from our