Importance Of Love In My Life

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The girls left the bathroom and I had tears forming in my eyes but, I couldn 't cry, I had broken the promise once and I wasn 't planning on breaking it again. I shut my eyes and let the darkness invade me as I repeated over and over again to myself, 'I am happy and I am strong. '
I waited until the little princesses in the bathroom left before I shut the bathroom door and locked it. Once I made sure that no one else was in here or nearby since they probably all went to classes by now, I decided I could let myself be the real me, just for a little bit, not have to force myself to have that smile on my face everyday and pretend everything is ok, because everything isn 't ok. My life is hell and my future is even worse. Maybe in the future I 'll meet the devil and he 'll take me to hell where I would rot and would be out of my misery in the real world.
I didn 't care anymore, they could judge me all they wanted, they could laugh, taunt me, bully me, do anything to me and I wouldn 't care at all. I hated myself for everything that I had done and that had happened to me. I hated my dad for being a drug leader and letting my mother be killed. I hated how I cared so much about trying to fit in when no one knew me or noticed me. I hated everything and everyone, especially me with every little piece of my soul.
All the bad memories invaded me and swirled around my head and all the stupid emotions I had once ever felt came back to me in an instant. I couldn 't get to focus on the
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