I was felt the need to compare myself to others after while I stop bc I started loving myself. I was always a quite and conservative person. I was realizing the things I was doing was not me at all. So I changed my group of friends and start going through life a different way. I feel like I found myself and still is finding myself.
I need to learn to survive and live on my own. As much as it hurt to say that, it’s true. I can’t go the rest of my life depending on him or his family. Although it would be nice to at least have someone there, life is never that fair or
I thought that everything would be over and that I would still be best friends with my friends when high school ended. We even planned us moving to California together and just live life. Then it hit me, how am I going to live in a really nice place or have a decent job if I cannot even get an A in any class. I reflected my life and realized that it was not good. The way that I was going I was not going to get anywhere in life.
What is the value of life? To me the value of life is cherishing every moment that comes to me. To make sure with every experience to take it to heart and learn some kind of lesson out of it. life is like a mountain, at certain points throughout the climb it is going to be really tough mentally and emotionally. Other times it’s going to be so easy fun and smoothe until… one hits that bump in the road again.
I had completely lost myself; I let myself get hurt and insulted with no way out because I needed a place to live. It took me a wasted year to realize that this was a dead end. I couldn't see it before and I just kept believing that it might get better. One day, I knew enough was enough and saw an opportunity to end the poor path that I was blindly walking. I was naïve for not being able to cut my losses, and I paid the price.
I couldn’t live without them, but both also had problems of their own; And being the person I am, instead of helping myself out first, I let my depression get worse and worse in exchange of helping them. I was happy of the fact that I was doing some part in them getting better in someway. I didn’t want to repeat what i felt like I did to my other friend. After a while I got to the point where I had to go to a therapist because I couldn’t handle the pain. I ended up telling my mom I needed a therapist and she got worried.
I didn’t tell anyone what had happened. I just wanted to forget it. I wasn’t a pretty girl before any of this happened and I felt even uglier after it was all over. I convinced myself that it didn’t matter because I would never have to see him again. Things got a little better until I had a pain in my side while I was playing basketball with my brother.