Keep Digging Short Story

1771 Words8 Pages
Keep Digging by- Sanaya Ross

Somone else’s cancer is eating me...

Penetrating my emotions... and shifting into my mind... enclosing entirely and consuming my internal dialog...It is so painful... why is it so painful... I am just a bystander.. Why do I feel this too...

It hurts, literally hurts me to the point where it is difficult to function because my thoughts are enveloped in trying to find a solution which may not even exist... or meaning in what could be a somewhat meaningless event. Perhaps it means nothing... We all live and we all die. So why does the knowledge that another’s light is dimming grab me, grip me so deeply with crippling fear, anger, and sadness?

Why is it... that God, Buddha, makes me feel this too! Why must I struggle and churn in pain within myself to associate myself with your pain? Why is this natural for me to feel it to this
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Cancer has taken so many pieces of me away and replaced them with A long-term deep sadness already because of the untimely death of my father. It has walked into my house and stolen my shit and then worn it around in front of my face boastfully. I'm so fucking tired of waking up in pain... not everyday but randomly just being sad or angry because everyone else is in pain. Why do I feel this way and why do I have this fire and what do I need to do to help so I can finally be at peace with myself and relax knowing I really did all that I can to help those who are treated inferior, badly, inhumanly, or are in pain. I need to make time with a toddler to find a way to become more prosperous.. but it's really hard... If I do not do this I will continually experience this pain because I will not be able to be of value in healing others and myself. I also need to take care of myself first... if there is one realization that has brought me to my knees in this life it is that no one is going to love you more than you.. a painful
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