I am a spiritual person so when all of this happened I really began to pray. I never went to therapy for it though it would have been a good ideal. I had to deal with this on my own. After my daughter was born things got better. My parents absolutely adore her.
My mom informed the school counselor and arranged for me to meet with the counselor weekly to express how I was feeling. I was embarrassed about the divorce and I did not talk about it with any of my friends. I started to lose some of the close bonds I had with my
As I sat there for two days, I wondered what the house was going to look like, what the neighbors would be like, and how the schools were. I never had to think of these things before. Two days later, my parents came and picked me up. On the way to my new home, my parents explained that it was not like the house we previously lived in. That statement scared me because I did not want to live in a smaller house nor did I want to share a room with either of my sisters.
I just wish I had my parents back. If only I could start over and tell them that I respect their decision to keep me home. I would tell them I would stay home and spend time with them. I would say to them that I love them and will spend weekends at home instead of going out. If only I could start over and not let them leave me.
Mama was really upset with me. I ran across this long road and there were cars coming at me, but I just closed my eyes and ran really, really fast. It was so much fun! When mama finally found me, she was crying but told me she was glad I was okay and to never scare her like that again. I just wanted to be outside, I didn 't mean to scare mama.
I snapped and complained about how tired I was and asked if she could do without one today. I told her I would bring her get one the next day. As usual, she did not argue and simply said yes, but my mom made me go get her one. She asked for such a simple thing, and I was too selfish to worry about her. I always took her for granted and also said I would do things the next day because I just did not want to worry about it that day.
I mean I don't know how to tell you. I guess I was afraid of something or I was trying to escape from something and you know I have never been very strong in the head (smile). I'm glad Mama and Daddy are dead and can't see what's happened to their son and I swear if I'd known what I was doing I would never have hurt you so, you and a lot of other fine people who were nice to me and who believed in
Going home from school, I got jealous of my friends that got picked up by their parents. My friends’ parents would always tutor their kids the school materials after school, except for my parents. I never accept that my parents are too busy working, but actually they worked from morning until late at night. I rarely got to spend time with them, my grandmother is the one who took care of me most of the time and that’s why I feel so grateful towards her all the time..
“What happened?” She questioned with concern I finished my weeping and crying for the most part, and told my mom in a post crying voice trying to hold back tears, “I peed in the pool, and it turned blue for some reason. Then everyone was staring at me like I was some sort of monster.” “Why on earth would you pee in the pool?” My mom said with disappointment. “I don’t know” I exclaimed with sorrow. “The worst part was, there was a kid who laughed at me and announced to the whole world what I did in the pool,” I explained to her. After I told my mom about the kid who made fun of me, she was most upset about that than anything else.
I didn’t tell anyone for a while. Not my teachers, siblings, or even my family. My parents still don’t even know. My other friends at that time never really understood that I was getting bullied but that’s because I didn’t tell them either. It was really complicated because whenever someone saw that I was down and they asked if anything was wrong, I would act like nothing had happened the rest of the day but inside, only I knew that I was being bullied in the sixth grade.