Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been

Experiences sculpt an individual’s life. The numerous twists and turns that life beholds ensure one’s survival, and build a strong foundation that boosts our ability to tackle difficult obstacles in life. Mama from Alice Walker’s “Everyday Use” and Connie from Joyce Carol Oates “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been” are characters who experience unfavorable events, which teach them harsh lessons in life. As the adage mentions, “You gotta hurt in order to know. Fall in order to grow. Lose in order to gain; because most of life’s lessons are learned in pain”, it can be said that Connie learns her life lessons in a more somber way than Mama. Substantially, the adage applies most to Connie; as she grows as an individual following a stressful

In the face of probable death, Connie realizes the worth of her mother and regrets neglecting her mother’s instructions, while Mama has a chance of reconciliation with her daughters therefore, the adage applies more to Connie than Mama. Connie has always been on poor terms with her mother as she often criticizes Connie and tries to “...drag her[Connie] back to the daylight…” (Oates 2). Consequently, it makes Connie “‘...want to throw up sometimes’” (Oates 9). However, Connie realizes that her rejection for her mother was temporary when she faces a calamity. Moreover, the thought of dying at the hands of a stranger frightens her to such an extent that “...she[Connie] cries out for her mother” (Oates 8). As Connie dangles between a life

Besides, Dee’s egoistic attitude affects Mama to an extent that Mama realizes she gave her all to the wrong daughter. As Dee is determined in keeping the quilts, she learns that Mama has “‘...promised to give them quilts to Maggie, for when she [Maggie] marries John Thomas’” (Walker 7). This promise by Mama results in Dee reacting as if a “...a bee has stung her [Dee]” (Walker 7). Dee is certainly upset and furious with Mama’s decision to hand over the quilts to Maggie as Dee worries “‘...Maggie would put them on the bed and in five years they’d be in rags’” (Walker 7). With Dee’s argumentative and insulting behavior, Mama finds herself to be agitated in making Dee understand that the quilts belong to Maggie. However, Maggie having a heart of gold allows Dee to keep the quilts. This notion finds support in Maggie’s statement, “‘She can have them Mama’” (Walker 8). Hence, witnessing Maggie’s mature behavior, a strong feeling of love is seen emerging in Mama as she “hugs Maggie to herself” (Walker 8). Dee’s such abrupt behavior makes Mama feel guilty of how she only thinks about Dee, while Maggie is the more mature and loyal one. Moreover, Connie is dealing with a situation where she is unable to give life a second chance and live a stress-free life. Therefore, Mama gains Maggie as a