Loneliness In Helga's The Awakening

The passage on page 56 stated “She began to make plans and to dream of change, of life somewhere else. Some place where at last she would be permanently satisfied. Her anticipatory thoughts waltzed and eddied about to the sweet silent music of change. With rapture almost, she let herself drop into the blissful sensation of visualizing herself in different, strange places, among approving and admiring people, where she would be appreciated, and understood.” This occurs directly after Helga has decided to leave for her aunt in Copenhagen. Where she decided not to leave that very day because of a dinner party that is being thrown for Anne, and proceeds to get ready in one of her more racy numbers and purchases Anne a beautiful arrangement of flowers.

Furthermore, this passage indicates a higher point in Helga's cycle of melancholy and depression, where when she is fleeing from her responsibilities she is happy and hopeful of the new place she is heading. Once she lands in her new place, “the pleasant present and the delightful vision of an agreeable future she was contented, and happy” (46). Then on the very next page, ‘it didn’t last, this happiness of Helga Crane’s”. So while she is happy when moving on to new places she does not stay that way, loneliness and anguish creep upon her. In some ways, it seems as though she does not want to experience any of the mundane sense of life, because as soon as any negative emotion appear she wants to just run away, until she is unable to anymore. This passage embodies the repetition of wanting to flee and find a place where she belongs. This in a way is foreshadowing of a time where she will be unable to flee from her unhappiness and she will have to address these problems on her