Loneliness In My Life

Loneliness is the feeling of the emptiness, absence that reigns in my heart and engulf my consciousness from time to time. My definition of loneliness does not term with a situation where I left alone helplessly but also when I drown in the sea of people that seem too busy and absorb in their own world. I associate loneliness with catalyst as loneliness make me open the door of adventures and liberate myself, break free from the shackle of my comfort zone. Loneliness that I feel since at home, school, and college catalyze a brand new me to emerge from the dormant of life and bring up another side of interpretation of loneliness, the good one. Loneliness is my catalyst to finally understand and come to the term of acceptation why I always alone

Loneliness is my shadow and become a part of my life. It gives a huge impact on my life where I grow up to be a quiet person and on the verge to be classify as introvert. At my school, I live in dormitory life and always being surrounded by my friends where I start to slowly open up from my serene life although only a little at a time. My clique is loud and bubbly but deep down in my heart treasure chest, I still feel the loneliness urges to resurface. Not long before I realize that I feel alone again and I suffocate for the air of freedom and company. At one point, I found a medium where I could channel away this burdening feeling, drama. I started to involve actively in drama activities as a way to banish the loneliness in my heart. I practiced hard to perfect my role and it filled with sweat and tears along the way. Although sometimes I feel lonely because I was the only one in my clique that managed to pass the audition of the drama team, I hardened my heart. I used my act and role to let go the feeling and express the happiness, sadness, and depression that I faced. The rush of anxiety acting on the stage and in front of the sea of people shade my loneliness and the sound of their clapping hand is the music in my ears. After a while, my confidence builds up and I become better in socializing and speaking in public. I learn that I can change the feeling of lonely to fun and have a whale of time doing my favorite activity. Moreover, the best lesson I get is we need to change ourselves, find the way, be brave, and embrace every opportunity that come. Thus, loneliness becomes a catalyst for me to find the way to my passion rather than become a block that suppresses me to only live in the border of my comfort