Men And Men's Influence On Family Life

Unfound Equilibrium

College degrees, jobs, and income stream are all quantifiable items, however, a gauge on work-life balance, parenting abilities, and dedication at home cannot be measured by a number. In the past, men have been viewed as the backbone of the family. The typical day consists of getting up early, going to work, coming home late at night, maybe missing out on trivial matters, but ultimately paying the bills. As time progresses, roles in households have shifted significantly. Now more than ever women are extremely active in the workforce, local communities, and politics. The obstacles faced by men and women are inherently different, but men seem to fall under an intensified microscope when it comes to intertwining family life

Commercials, television shows, movies, and music all extenuate the failures of men when it comes to emphasizing family life. The issue is seen as a two-way road, prioritize a career or put family first, which is not a fair circumstance. What kind of man puts a replaceable job before his loved ones? Clearly, it is really not a decision after all. For example, in the hit television show, This Is Us, one of the main characters is a father with a heavily demanding job while his three daughters grow into adolescence. Complex issues within his extended family leave him at odds and ultimately result in the resignation of his job. This idea where one element must be dropped entirely for another is frankly irrational. Any good man isn't willing to put his family on the line, leaving him no choice. Society wants to think men are tasked with balancing work and life, but it's never been a

Currently, the traditional mindset of society perpetuates this fantasy. The stereotypical, men work and women nurture mindset is extinct, however, expectations are caught in the past. The sacrifices men make include too much time away from home, many weekends at the computer, and inconvenient travel while receiving no sympathy. At the same time, men need to, "spend more time with their children, and are more involved with their home lives, than ever before" (701). The double standard of endless sacrifices paired with trying to increase influence around the home is no recipe for success. For now, it seems that no matter where men direct their focus, they will come up short, every single time. If they direct too much attention at home, their quality of work is subpar. If they direct too much attention to work, they hurt the most meaningful people in their life. Dorment brings this idea full circle by mentioning how "men have oppressed their wives, sisters, and daughters for pretty much all of recorded history, and now women are supposed to trust us to share everything 50-50?" (701). This sad historical streak has left a huge target on the back of men. Ponder this thought, a mother in the workplace and a father in the workplace, who would have more leeway? For example, a mother talking to the boss about leaving early to attend her child's baseball game is more