Book review – Men are from Mars, women are from Venus
Introduction
“Men are from mars, women are from Venus” is a user’s guide for married couples to understand each other better, and transform their differences to complement each other to enjoy their long journey together as man and wife. John Gray, the author of the book views men and women as having inherently dissimilar values and views about life. In marriage people often expect the opposite sex to be more like themselves. Each desires the other to want the same thing and feel the same way. For example, the husband takes for granted that the wife would behave in a particular way to express her love – the way he behaves when he loves someone. Both men and women, like their body features,
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Their common message when women lose them running after their goal is “I am not ignoring you by concentrating much on my goals; in fact I am trying to provide you the best by reaching my goal.” Men do not adventure deep into the minds of their spouses as they adventure in their own territories alone. Dr Laura records in her book. “Most husbands are poor mind-readers, and are not as intuitive as their wives, which wives wrongly interpret as lack of love for them,” says Dr Laura. Gray also charges men for their lack of interest in bringing romance into their marriage since they show much inclination toward workplace than family.
Gray, through his book, advises his target audience, couples in marriage relationships to follow little things to make a huge difference in their lives. He reminds that every woman has a love tank in her heart like a gas tank on car, which needs to be filled again and again by doing little things. He suggests husbands to follow 101 different ways to fill the wives love tank. He also promptly advises women to appreciate and acknowledge the little things men do to
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The partners in marriage need to remember that misunderstandings are common between them because of their inherent nature. Hence, it is the responsibility of both the husband and wife to interpret what the other partner means before responding. This comes by practicing listening and knowing each other’s emotional needs. Gray’s suggestion to men is to change their thinking that ‘listening is doing everything’ to make women happy against their popular belief that listening is similar to ‘doing nothing’ for them. To women Gray suggests ‘trust him’ rather than ‘micro manage
In her essay, Hope Edelman specializes the focus on creating emotion, and using first hand experiences from her marriage to capture the attention of the intended audience, making them question the way their own marriage is being executed. This idea of sympathy being the path to go about capturing an audience in some form of communication, is still predominant in society. The writer is attempting to convey to that if possible, try to find similarities between Edelman’s marriage and their own. If successful, the marriage can make the changes Edelman feels are essential to being healthy. Hope Edelman’s perspective on the way marriage is meant to be, challenges traditional values of society; however, after reading this piece the audience may begin to prefer her idea of marriage.
The desire to be kind, to care and to please each other become nonexistent in the marriage relationship as time goes by. That is why it is important to maintain the communication line in the marriage relationship open regardless of the nature of the conversation as long as is conducted with
He seems to believe that taking time to ‘woo’ or encourage love is out of the question. In his opinion, a wife has the duty of having children, keeping the house
Marriage is considered to be a lifelong commitment. You’re expected to work everything out and stay happily in love for the rest of your lives but that won’t happen if you don’t communicate. Lack of
He also recommends keeping balance between everyday attention and big romantic gestures; in his opinion, everyday small but nice things work better than grandiose but rare romantic gestures. In general, the characteristics of the “healthy” marriage are following:
The "fireproof" movie is an excellent example of several interpersonal communications challenges takes in our day by day lives, how communication issues may become a barrier to the growth in the various relationship and how understanding communication skills bring differences in the relationship. The main characters in the movie, Caleb, and his wife Catherine both did not know how to communicate to each other correctly. Both of them were delivering messages through numerous active, passive and interactive ways to each other. Both of them were not aware of that to have intimacy in any marriage relationship requires interactions with abundant listening and understanding. They both did talking to each other a lot, but neither of them listened to each other giving respect and trying to understand what each other is trying to communicate.
It is evident that marriage is full of ups and downs, but the way couples manage these fluctuations in their relationship determines the strength of their connection. Both partners in a committed relationship must feel the same way and work equally as hard to push through potential obstacles. Being devoted to the relationship can ensure that the marriage will be able to survive the hardships and maintain a healthy, successful marriage. The emotional hardships and positives that a married couple endures on a daily basis are presented throughout the entirety of the poem, “Marriage”, by Gregory Corso. Corso’s poem explores the pressures and factors that influence marriage and sheds light on Updike’s short story about a couple facing divorce.
One of the first issues that can be seen when there is a lack of communication is the loss of the romance. Men and women think and do communicate differently when it adds up to intimacy according to Bill and Pam Farrel 's bestselling book"Men Are Like Waffles—Women Are Like Spaghetti. " Many couples do not talk openly about the matters of sex and romance, even today. This failure of communication leads to barriers and build walls ultimately it will bear upon the relationship in a negative way. If the woman does not communicate her likes and her dislikes, or her needs she will feel disrespected.
Eric Bartels analyzes the difficulties of modern-day marriage in his article, “My Problem with Her Anger,” by examining his own marital experiences. By optimistic confrontation and resolution of his family’s problems, Bartels believes that not only will he save his marriage, but he will also be rewarded for his sacrifices (63). The author claims he realized the separation between men and women during his late night chores (57). To illuminate this separation, Bartels acknowledges that his wife contributes more to childcare than he does, but asserts that he tries to reduce as much of this pressure as he can through cooking, cleaning, and shopping (58). Despite the author’s attempts, he contends that his endeavors to decrease his wife’s stress
Life is full of challenges and learning experiences, everything we go through makes us stronger and better people. In the novel, Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston, Janie fumbles through three complex marriages that provide protection, stability, and love and happiness. After trial and error she realizes that she must think about herself by applying what she has learned from her relationships and cherishing her values. she is involved with three men who were all but perfect. The similarities and differences in Janie’s three spouses Mr. Killicks, Jody, and Tea Cake suggest that relationships present challenges which you can learn to overcome the complexities of marriage ultimately improving the quality of your
02/12/2018 Psychologist have studied it for years. Human relationships are arguably the most complicated relationships on planet Earth. Going a bit farther, Peg Streep, a psychologist that studies primarily marital relationships, says that husband and wife relationships, sometimes, can only be understood if one is in the relationship themselves (Streep). However, Tobias Wolff, the author of “Say Yes,” published in 1985, uses symbolism to give his readers a plethora of room for interpretation of the husband and wife’s relationship in this short story, in hopes that many readers are able to relate to the couple’s issues.
Socio-linguist Deborah Tannen demonstrates how men and women communicate differently in her essay “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” In her observations of communication styles, she discusses the way in which men and women communicate leads them to conflict because they have different understanding of their partners’ role. She also explains male and female communication differences not only cause ineffective conversation, but also push couples into a dilemma in their relationship; however, as men and women better understand the differences, their relationship improves. In the first part of her essay, Tannen discusses men and women do not have enough effective communication, which damages their marriage.
Anyhow, is important to know that the missing piece of a relationship is communication, and understand that men and women are different. Although Tannen, in Sex, Lies, and Conversation, states that communication manners vary from men and women, causing conflict; however, Judy Brady,
According to this theory, nature of love is changing fundamentally and it can create either opportunities for democracy or chaos in life (Beck & Beck- Gernsheim, 1995). Love, family and personal freedom are three key elements in this theory. This theory states that the guidelines, rules and traditions which used to rule personal relationships have changed. “Individuals are now confronted with an endless series of choices as part of constructing, adjusting, improving or dissolving the unions they form with others” (Giddens, 2006). For instance, marriage nowadays depends on the willingness of the couples rather than for economic purposes or the urge to form family.
The article’s purpose is to pinpoint specific cultural traits that cause problems in modern relationships. It dives into the history of marriage to illustrate that our modern views on marriage and love are new and specific to the twentieth century. Cultural shifts in our individualistic tendencies are responsible for some of the problems marriages face today. The article poses the underlying idea that perhaps society’s individualistic nature is too self-centered to the point that we push out other’s needs, feelings, and happiness. 4.