All I remember from when I was little is moving from house to house. I never got to stay in one place for the same amount of time. The house wasn't in a good location or the school wasn't good enough or family was to far. I never really liked moving because it seemed like when I was just getting a friend group or finally getting settled in we had to move again. There was never a reason of why we had to move, I was told that we are moving soon.
It's Me As if breaking an arm was not already hard enough. Having to move to a different state was the worst. I was going to be all alone. Just me and my mom its always been that way. I have never met or know who my dad is but what difference does it make.
I used to have this grudges in my heart when everything go hard that would made me wanted to blame my parent. But I can’t because I was not raise to think that way. When I come to America, I was eleven years old and no one asked me if I wanted to come it just happen in a second. I was in a cold place with extended family that I never met before and that one person who raise me and made me feel secure was still back in the country. I had to lived months without her and next thing you know I adapted and convince myself they are doing this because the wanted the best for me.
This assessment may result in either negative or positive results. I believe my self-esteem is low. I doubt the decisions I make. As if to make it clearer, just last week three people told me that I worried too much in a day. I do not believe I have the ability to make decisions on my own and while growing up my mother did not allow me to make any decisions which I believe helped to lessen my belief in my self.
Both of my parents were always working hard and my teachers were always “looking the other way” and so I was alone. However, I have stayed strong throughout my suffering. There were times where I had thought that suicide was the only way. But, I never actually tried to commit to the idea. A few years later, I am here trying to make my dreams come true.
One of the most significant experiences I have had in recent years was when I taught myself to ride a unicycle. It was something I had wanted to learn for a long time, and I was excited to get started. I was a little concerned that it might prove too difficult to learn a new physical activity of this nature as an adult. In the end it was more challenging than I imagined, but it was also more rewarding that I ever could have hoped. Learning to ride a unicycle taught me, balance and coordination, but more importantly, it taught me to overcome obstacles, and most importantly it changed the way I approach goals.
My school had never taught me how to write papers and had never required me to write one, so I was very nervous when I started the class. At the beginning, I had a lot of usage errors, and I wasn't quite sure how to even go about writing essays. I didn’t even have a clue as to what the difference between the types of papers was. The only thing I knew how to do was make a title and how to keep my thesis consistent throughout the paper. I didn’t know how to set up MLA format, write the different kinds of papers, or how to revise an essay.
It was fun but afterwards he was trying to tell me i did not have to let my mom hide me from him and i flipped out at him saying that i left and did not talk to him because you focused i said on everyone else but me and i was wasting my life with you. And in a way he used me because after the wedding he did not talk to me for the longest time he kept asking to talk to me and i said i was done. He broke me down enough i did not talk to my own friends and i did not want to go through that again. He tried and tried and i shut him down time after time and not once did i look back and think he might have changed. He crossed the line when he started telling everyone we knew that my mom had been hiding me from him.
I had completely lost myself; I let myself get hurt and insulted with no way out because I needed a place to live. It took me a wasted year to realize that this was a dead end. I couldn't see it before and I just kept believing that it might get better. One day, I knew enough was enough and saw an opportunity to end the poor path that I was blindly walking. I was naïve for not being able to cut my losses, and I paid the price.
When I got to high school, I strayed away from everything I had ever been taught. I fell in the ruts of temptation and stopped going to church, like many people today. Even though I only live a few miles from my church, I would always tell myself, “I am too tired.” Despite all of this God, never gave up on me and still has not to this day. He also placed a certain person in my life,
“This says you got 98 out of 200,” his mom quietly said. You could tell it killed her to tell him. “So I failed, and can’t get into a college?” he said fighting back his tears. He looked up to try to stop the tears from flowing, but it didn’t work. He was a wreck his mom was to saddened to see him like this.
I had to snap out this mindset because it was taking me nowhere, I knew school would be my only escape so that I never had to experience this pain again. My only weakness was my own self doubt holding me back, If I truly wanted change I had to focus on myself and not the mistakes my mother had made. It took me awhile to get over this part of my life and start focusing on my future , I knew I had to make up for messing up my first two years of high school which resulted in such a low GPA. Although my GPA now isn 't the highest it could have been, I have since then received three honor roll certificates for having a 3.0 GPA for 3 different semesters. Pushing through this obstacle has motivated me to push to be successful.