She was gone, and I had no one by my side that I felt confident enough to share with. After a little while I started doing absolutely miserably in school, lying to my mom so much, that after a certain amount of time, my teacher called her and told her everything. My mom was so shocked that she could not believe it, my lies lasted for probably about a year and after sometime she has of course forgiven me, but I was all alone through all of this again. I felt so lonely and broken that……I wanted to end my life. I went to the extent of writing a good bye note, many times, but I always stopped myself, believing and on some level knowing that I had to fight and that I had to live at least for my mom, because she does for me.
This caused me to be more logic about the situation and knew I wanted this to work. I spoke with him and made it known to him we had to make sacrifices for our relationship. The way we were operating as a couple due to our distance wasn’t healthy for the relationship. Until, it was this last time we had this big argument about the infidelity again for hours and hours until I stated, “I don’t want to be in a relationship anymore”. I was angry at him for always making that a constant reminder.
Through his letters I could feel his struggle, pain, happiness, love and a multitude of emotions. He was struggling greatly whether to stay or quit, it made me realized how difficult and lonely military training must have been. Weeks passed and we had only one opportunity to meet each other for 4 hours. I was excited to finally see him. There were many families ready to see their sons.
But the cold hard fact to life is that no-one on this earth can rely on someone else to give us what we want. Happiness and success is an inside job, only you can make you happy. Only you can decide you will do what is necessary for good health. Others can certainly help us on our journey, but first we must decide what we want, we must decide to do what it takes to get there. While this may sound a bit harsh, the truth of it has been proven time and time again throughout the ages.
I also learned that I must never love someone whom I love more that loves me. I must choose someone who love me more because that small feeling can be expounded and it is up to my mindset if I will be happy or not. I also learned that I must never trust someone who lies. Because if he lies to me with simple things, how much more on bigger things that involve our future family. To love someone is my choice, and it is up to me on who I choose to love.
After a few years in the workforce, I realized that I must not spend any more of my youth on entry-level jobs that hold little to no meaning to me. Now is the time to advance myself and to explore endless possibilities with the right education. Therefore, I enrolled myself in Sinclair Community College. Every day, Sinclair astounds me with their commitment to prepare students for a bright future. Choosing a major is stressful but I must have a clear path to the finish line.
she is right - we gotta do what we gotta do. 'okay, see, i won't write you an "F" just because i know you are usually a hard-working kid... but i'm disappointed of you. your heart sinks(? it sounded fine in my head ok ?). you hate it when you let someone down.
There’s also this bugging question: Do they feel sorry for me? If anyone’s pity comes with an enclosed check, I probably need all the pity in the world. Kidding aside, we’re telling how things are because it’s the truth, not because we advocate our lives as sob stories. Do, in some way, single parents disrespect the sacredness of family as the basic unit of society? My life didn’t turn out as I would have wanted it to, but I know that I am where I need to be.
I am not afraid of much, I am more afraid of failure more than anything else. I am not scared of success itself, but I am afraid of what I will have to go through to be able to become successful. Every restriction I face and overcome have made me who I am today, and I would not change anything that has happened in my life. If I did not have to overcome the restrictions I face, I do not believe that I would be the same person that I am