Erika Smith Webber Honors English I 9/ /15 Have you ever felt as if you didn’t belong? Have you ever been so alone that there is nowhere to go but down? Melinda Sordino in Speak did. She was alone throughout her whole freshman year.
Fifty-two chapters, thousands of girls, timeless friendships through sisterhood, one big family. I’ve always known that I wanted to move away from home for greater opportunities and experiences. Although my parents were very optimistic about my decisions and the route I chose, it was difficult to leave home. The five-hour flight alone, the lonesome nights without my family, the horrifying first day speeches and upperclassmen, having no car to get around, and maybe the possibility of not liking your dorm roommates.
Hope’s class was. The hallway felt never-ending, seeing all the unfamiliar faces made me nervous, but excited at the same time. It was an unusual feeling, but I made it to the class, took my seat, and waited patiently for the teacher to begin. My first new friend was named Cameo, she came up to me and introduced herself, she appeared eager, but I could tell she was just as nervous as I was. I was reluctant to speak to a lot of people due to my speech impediment.
At 5:45 AM the alarm on my phone blared some generic default tone that I had never gotten around to changing. This was probably the earliest I’ve ever gotten up in my entire life. I groggily removed myself from the pile of blankets on the floor that I had been sleeping in and headed for the shower, brushed my teeth, washed my face and searched my near empty closet for something to wear on my first day of school. Although I was absolutely exhausted and there was yet to be any furniture in my room, I was thrilled to be transferring to Pattonville High School in midst of my junior year and living in a bigger house in a better community.
Locations. My whole life has been a series of locations. My first 5 years were spent in Korea, the next 6 years in Pittsburgh, and then 5 years in Chicago. 3 major different locations in 16 years. Last year, second semester of my all-important junior year, I moved to Texas.
that’s when I started thinking hard. My mother was with us, and I knew she didn’t want me to leave either. Even my siblings and Grandma, I didn’t want to leave behind I felt constrained I’m not going to know anyone there. What if no one likes me? What if I can’t make any new friends and I have to sit all alone at lunch every day?.
I was expecting it would take them some more time but I was mistaken. When I heard that I was starting school the next day, the butterflies in my stomach returned and I was afraid. I felt as if running away would be the only option because making new friends was a task I was never good at. I was very uncomfortable by being surrounded by all these people I didn't know.
This created a great rift between me and the people that had been my friends. I began trying to hang out with friends but found they were always busy while I was home reading, waiting for an adventure. I had managed to keep a few of my friends and these people are still my friends today, but first I had to deal with being solitary for a while. After I accepted the way school, and friends were going to go I only faced one obstacle. Almost my entire life changed after my move, I had a new routine, some new friends, and a new way I had to learn.
Jesse wants to be the fastest kid in the fifth grade. Jesse trains in the cow pasture. Jesse has always been second in the heat. Jesse had his chance to be the fastest, but a new kid takes his spot. Leslie Burke moves next door to Jesse, and she is the fastest kid the fifth grade.
What exactly is the hood? The hood is a slang term for the ghetto. Many people may associate the hood with the birthplace of criminals, people with no lives, and even what some people would call “gangsters”. From the outside looking in, one would assume the hood is a horrible place to be, and those were my exact thoughts in the beginning. Is the hood as dangerous as it is described?
Even as an innocent seven-year-old, I felt embarrassment about a matter as trivial as a packed lunch. I wished for acceptance in a world where so far, I felt I was not acknowledged because of my lunch. As my elementary school years passed, I learned to withstand the judgment by hovering over my lunches, as if I had a secret, in a pitiful
Have you ever felt uncomfortable, nervous, and confused ? These are all the things I felt moving to a new school. I had no idea if I would gain friends or if anyone would like me. Maybe if I had a tour around the new school before my first day I would have not been so disorientated. Going from a one story school to a two story school was hard, having to look down every five seconds to make sure I was on the right hall, or if I was suppose to be upstairs or downstairs.
From this day, I still remember how lonely I felt and how badly I wanted to be accepted. I dreaded to go to recess because I wasn't sure what type of crowd I would “ fit in” with. As I walked in class, I saw everyone divided into various cliques and eventually I found myself every week trying to fit in with a different one. I tried my best to act like those kids in order to fit in, I changed so many things such as my attitude, my clothing, my hairstyles and how I spoke in the span of one year. I was so desperate to feel like I was not alone and had real friends that I basically would’ve done anything for others to like me.
Moving is a burden that has profoundly altered my outlook on things. Going back a few years, I moved to the United States, which meant I’d have to be placed in a new school. This transition was truly and utterly difficult for me, because it happened in the middle of the school year and I was not ready for what was about to be thrown my way. I was scared out of my mind, it felt as if the walls were crumbling down on me and I had no escape route.