Non-Normative Life Event

My non-normative life event started at the age of twelve years old. I have five sisters and one brother, me being the second youngest. During one summer my mother started feeling quite unwell. Her symptoms seemed similar to cold or flu symptoms, but they never regressed after treatment. She developed a lump in her neck which the doctors biopsied and diagnosed her with Lymphoma Cancer.

One day, on the way home from school my mother gently informed us that she had cancer. It was shocking but at that age and time in my life, it just didn’t seem to sink in that my mom would pass away. I was extremely close with my mother. I used to spend every moment I could to be in her presence. When the rest of the family went on camping trips, I would stay with my mom. I loved and adored her with all my heart.

For two years she was bedridden with this horrific disease. During the two years, I, of course, was going through my puberty years. I felt confused, frustrated at times.

The visible effects that the passing of my mother had in my life was my low self-esteem and confidence level and awkwardness around people in general. I started to regret that had I not been so selfish, I could have done a whole lot more for my mom during her illness. Though, as time has gone by I, have come to realize that I was just a child and that there wasn’t much more that I could have done for her. My confidence level and self-esteem have developed, but it took a while. I think it improved after the nurturing love and attention that I received from my husband. I have become a bit of an overachiever and enjoy receiving compliments which I have also learned to balance. In the business world where I worked for over twenty years, I realized that not many people are generous with their compliments, and so it has taught me that just because I did not receive the pat on the back for work well done, it does not mean that I did