Personal Narrative Essay: Lost In Love

Collin Loper

Dr. Laura Payne

English 1301, Section 4

29 March 2018

Lost in love

One thing about love; love is something you do not go searching for, nor will it be the answer to all your prayers when forced. It will never be your saving grace because you don't choose lose it chooses you, love is a living being. Yes I said that love is a living being in this world making its own choices along with everyone else. It takes you when it wants you, when you are content with life it will leave you with your heart in your hands, and in your darkest hour pick you higher than ever before. We like to think its tangible, but truth be told its not. The palpability of love on the other hand is the most graspable emotion known to mankind. Having

As it did to me my junior and senior year of highschool. Her smile truly made the world go around for me. Never having a girlfriend growing up due to a lack of interest inflicted by my mom. It all started with something as simple as me running to catch a paper that flew out of her hand in the mall parking lot. A simple thank you, and hey are you busy? would you like to grab lunch? was exchanged and the rest was history. We always made fun of my the friends who spent every waking minute with their girlfriends, But the reality was I became one of those guy spending every with her or talking about her. Voted highschool sweethearts we truly were each other's first love. Just over a year later I left for school and she did too, and proximity became the name of the game for her. One I truly felt I put her happiness before my own. She became my opiate, my drug, my sick addiction I could not let go of. Constantly hurting me, but I was addicted. My love became my drug just like my dad was involved with my mom after all the past years. I took the pain because the week of hurt was worth the day of happiness to me. Yes love is just a emotion, but love became a sickness that kept me in my bed with no regard for myself or a life. No motivation for school, for family, not even for my faith. When hearts a break they never break even. Something I noticed one week after our breakup. While my already fragile heart had be hurt more than thought

I asked her the question I could never bring myself to ask my mother “what does the word love mean to you?”. The silent ten seconds that followed felt like eternity. She started to talk, but the truth is I did not want to hear what she had to say, so I interrupted her. I thanked her for every lesson she taught me. That she made me who I was today, and I would not change one thing. She started to send her fury of assault in the harshest words possible. It was a blur, I caught a “I am not replaceable”, and a “you’re making a mistake”. What was crazy is nothing she said could have possibly fazed me all because I felt true at heart, and had the loved ones that mattered by my side. Love; The best mess you will ever make. It's something that resides in all of us. It is the one thing I believe can overpower fear in this world. Love is knowing pure of heart that you can't do wrong because it is in the name of someone you care more about than yourself. Willing to let the loved one hold the rope knowing that they would go down with you before letting you fall alone. It is truly an unbreakable bond. An unconditional perfect commitment to an imperfect person or thing. It's a rough road worth every step you take. Life is messy, But love? Love is