Introduction I believe we found coffee for a reason - To bask in the rivers of ecstasy. It gives me goose bumps just thinking about how when coffee was undiscovered, people still had a living. I cannot imagine life without it. I need it the first thing in the morning with the paper, then again in the morning right with my breakfast. Even whilst working, I need a cup to satiate my coffee taste buds.
You always acted like you hated me, no matter what I tried, offer even if I did anything, you seemed to be the one person who definitely wanted me out of this group ... It's weird, you know, how we're friends (if we even are still friends after I wrote this) or really that we're friends in the first place... Idek... Where to start.... You know how we always referred to ourselves as "the fish" people thought that we were the deep, creative, in-sync, Pisceans or something. Like having the same sign would make us guaranteed awesome friends... Or maybe I was the only one who thought that? I don't know, but they (I?) weren't completely right.
I pedaled in circles on my deck in my backyard, the wood creaked as I accelerated over each plank. I felt like superman speeding to chase villains. The wind slapped my face to the right and left, forcing me to glance at the trees passing by. I heard my dad over the roar of the wind yelling at me to come inside. Then I crashed.
Consequently, I asked my Grandmother why she did not want me to go to the school; being that she was the person who did not want me to go to the school the most. The reason she did not want me to go the school because she believed that I would not have a regular high school life. Which, I would reply to her the same way I would always reply to her when she would say that to me. I went through months of hearing the same argument and each time I would get angry. The worst part was when it was time for me to go to the school and be tested to get into the school.
I can’t lie and say that I believe I’m enough right now. I may know it in my head, but it’s not something I feel yet, and I'm not sure that gaining that further sense is something I can do on my own. What I have learned from my experience though is that I can never expect myself to succeed in being someone else. I was tasked with this, the impossible, and my inability to do so made me hate myself, but I'm choosing now to reject that, and I would encourage anyone else to do the same. I'm starting over, and while it's overwhelming to know that this could just happen to me again, I have a new mantra to guide me along the way.
I moved over to the bed and did a complete spin, how I was moving was by use of thought. I moved over to the window and I was thinking of going outside but then I thought what if I couldn’t get back into my body and I have all of these stories to tell, my life would have all been a waste. I then moved back over to the bed and I lay on top of my body that was lying there and in a moment I was back in my body. I opened my eyes and jumped up and my heart was racing just realizing what was after happening. I grabbed a drink out of the fridge and I raced up and down the sitting room, trying to comprehend the experience and the possibilities it might have.
It was because you do not feel like you fit in and that is what teenagers desire most. People used to ask me why I wanted to leave homeschooling in the first place. My answer lacked the drama that they were so eager to hear. I know that they were waiting for me to say that I wanted to be more social or that I needed more friends, but in reality I wanted to create more opportunities for myself. Opportunities that, if I had chosen to stay home schooled, I probably would have never been provided with.
However, my friends thought I was doing too much and started calling me names like; nerd, boring, no fun life girl etc. Peers and some of my family thought I had nothing else to do with my life than to study. Moreover, my friends were not the most intelligent but they were amusing, entertaining and awesome in class. Teachers appreciated them more in class. I wanted to be like them so I tried to get a bad grade in school just to
The bloody scene unfolded before my eyes. I didn’t notice my face stiffened with fear. The scarlet-red flames were flickering like dancing Devils, seemingly pleased about this horrific situation. Beads of sweat began to cover up my black forehead. I securely closed my eyes that were coped with guilt and fear, squeezing both of them tightly shut.