Personal Narrative: I Was Born Trans

My pulse suddenly dropped as soon as my parents told me the big news. For a little girl to transition after moving to a different country can be very difficult, especially when you are completely unknown to the language. Although it might seem like a necessity for an individual to fit in, it’s not; do not be afraid to be yourself.

In the past I have struggled with my biracial identity. As a child I was confused about which community I belonged in because I am a mix of Navajo and Caucasian. As I got older, I began to question myself and who I was. I felt like I did not belong to either the Native or Caucasian community because in both groups I felt like someone else. I felt as if I had to live two lives that were completely separated. When I was on my reservation I felt like I had to act “Navajo” and when I was not on the reservation I had to try to blend in and not act “too native” . This situation was stressful because I was internally battling with myself. I did not want to make others uncomfortable by being “too native” or “too white” so I would change how I acted

When a child is born they go through the process of figuring out who they really are, as well as who they want to be. Society in many ways negatively impacts the freedom a child has whilst exploring this phase in life. It dictates what to do, and what not to do. Strong parental figures help shield young kids away from society at large and allow them to make their own decisions without any fear. Through reading the pieces “My son is Gay” and “I like to wear dresses” and Ivan Coyote we see how hatred directed towards children for just being themselves often discourages children from exploring their gender. In order to shield (and support) children from negative judgmental thoughts they need a strong parental figure.

The diversity that may be found all around the world and in our very community has always fascinated me. I am aware that it is a widely held belief that being a minority is considered a disadvantage in various aspects and I would disagree with this. Diversity and culture is a two-way street- as a community, whether that be society as a whole or simply a freshman class, we have the potential to be able to learn from each other. I believe that my status as an underrepresented minority has shaped me into the person I am today. Despite moving to the United States at a young age and being a first-generation college student , I am grateful for the privilege to be able to further my education at the University of Utah.

Growing up there were many time where things would happen but I was too young to realize it or even know what was happening. As time went passed thing got better and less noticeable but that is when things normally take a turn for the worse. But most people when looking at me would say he is African American but in reality yes I am partly African American but I am also mixed with Nicaraguan, Italian and Jamaican. So growing up I did not fit in with thee Hispanic kids because I could not speak Spanish and they could so I was always grouped with all the other African American kids. Being placed under a specific group just because the color of my skin and because of the people that I know does not mean that if they do something I am right there

Growing up Trans is about this generation of children/teens who have gender dysphoria. That is they do not identify with the gender of their biological sex. (Knox p. 51) “Just a generation ago, it was adults, not children, who changed genders, usually late in life and often in shadows. But today as transgender adults gain wider acceptance, many children are transitioning...”(2:59-3:28)

Transgender is the term used to describe an individual whose gender identity does not align with their sex assigned at birth. The documentary, “Growing up Trans”, is a sensitive clip to watch about young youths who attempt to navigate family, friends, gender, and the medical decisions they face at puberty. “Growing up Trans” focuses mainly on transitioned young youths. The transgender youth from the documentary links to many theories from chapter eight. Theories such as socialization, gender, sexuality, homophobia, transphobia, and microaggression are associated with “Growing up Trans”.

Throughout my life I have come from and created a few identities for myself. Perhaps, the most dominant identities that have been apart of my life are being an athlete and being a family orientated man. In this paper I will write about how my identities have shaped my life.

The negative treatment and pain I received as a black girl, and still into my adulthood, it amazes me how I'm still standing tall and strong. It amazes me how people have tried to break me, even my own kind, but I'm still here. Truth is I gotta to have thick skin and protect myself, because I got no choice. If I don't... who will? And that is the everyday life of living as a black woman. We are the loneliest race on earth.

The world is filled with people, and like snowflakes, each person is not the same as another. Each person identifies with different aspects of their lives to create their own personal identities. I personally identify with my Italian side of my family to help form who I am today. I have found myself connecting with this side more so than the other parts of my identity. It affects how I live my life by becoming the center to the culture surrounding me. However, my ethnic identity as an Italian American also influences how I live when it comes to my religion, and how my religion affects my life alongside my ethnicity. I will expand on this issue on how I express my ethnic and religious identity in regards to each other.

Growing up my parents instilled in me that I was beautiful and my skin was beautiful. It was clear to me that everyone else didn’t feel the same way. I went to a couple different schools throughout my life starting with a predominantly black school then a predominantly white school then a very diverse school and at each one I still experienced colorism. At the black school I was not liked because I was darkskin and my hair was kinky and I was just not as pretty as the light skinned girls. At the white school I already felt different so I changed my hair I began to straighten it and talk different. I wanted to blend in but no matter what I did I was different. I stuck out like a sore thumb. Forget having a crush because no ones likes mean angry black girls. I find myself to be a very fragile girl and I want to protect myself so I don’t walk around crying all the time. So I began to put on my hard shell. They couldn’t hurt me if I didn’t give them the chance to be near me. By the time I got to high school I was then at a very diverse school. I had my protective shell of anger with me and I was ridiculed with in the first month of school. I realized there is no where I can go that won’t make me feel this way. Not only was I darkskin but I was an oreo because of the way I talked now. I was an angry black girl because no one thought I was beautiful or that I deserved respect or that I should be treated just the same as the light skin girl with long curly hair.

Fitting in. In other words “to fit in.” How can two simple words influence society and hold such weight over adolescents and even adults? Though my mind can’t understand the idea of what this phrase truly means, these words genuinely took a toll on me for a period of time during my semester here at Stony. If someone asked me what fitting in meant two years ago, I would have responded stating that “in order to “fit in,” you must have a lot of friends, do things you might not be comfortable with in order to please someone or a group, be skinny, wear make-up, wearing expensive clothing so that you won’t be considered a bump, etc. On the other hand, if someone asked me what fitting in means today, I would say there is no need to go through all of

There are many stories about de-transitioning, and they are typically not written by people who are against the transgender movement. They are written by people who realize transition isn’t what they needed after all. They are written by people who urge caution. This is the necessity of a certification from a duly licensed practitioner

We sometimes find ourself contemplating about who we are and what do we want in our life. As a gay man I have found myself stuck in many places, this is totally normal. We all try to find that perfect life but sometimes it involves barriers. Being wrong and owning up to what you want in life makes the ride easier. Thus being said, I would like to introduce myself with memories that shaped who I am and the struggles that I’ve achieved.

The film, Growing Up Trans, was a great medium for me to better understand and reflect on gender socialization, gender identities, and countless variations within the transgender communities. Each child and his/her stories give the audience an insight to both the personal troubles of living as transgenders and the systemic errors of the society that intensifies these troubles.