Consequently, I asked my Grandmother why she did not want me to go to the school; being that she was the person who did not want me to go to the school the most. The reason she did not want me to go the school because she believed that I would not have a regular high school life. Which, I would reply to her the same way I would always reply to her when she would say that to me. I went through months of hearing the same argument and each time I would get angry. The worst part was when it was time for me to go to the school and be tested to get into the school.
Come over today.’ ‘Don’t you have to ask your mom?’ He shook his head. ‘She doesn’t care. I can even have girls in my room, if I keep the door open.’ ‘Girl-zzz? You’ve had enough girls in your room to require a ruling?’ ‘Oh, yeah,’ he said. ‘You know me.’ I don’t, she thought to herself, not really.
I could read them but not whole day. My father keep watching me, and he thought that I didn’t pay enough attention to the exam. One day in afternoon, he came in my room carrying many textbooks while I was drawing picture on my desk. He put them harshly on the desk in front of me and asked me solemnly that ‘What are you doing? Why aren’t you studying books?’ I was silent and looked down to my hands which is laid on my lap not even looked at his face.
Why should I be friends with people who don’t even care to check in on me? That question lingered in my mind that whole week and weekend, when I finally realized that there are changes that come with high school and this was going to be one of them. They didn’t talk to me or try to figure out what was wrong, they moved on with their lives like I had never even been a part of them. I couldn’t sit around and waste away the rest of my year, hoping they would care about me again, so I had to move on too. All the exciting ideas and plans we had made, I would experience with new people.
At that point I think that he remembered me. When I said yes, he said you 're not going to do what you did when you were five and just not show up. I got really nervous when he mentioned that I just said that I was sorry and that I would show up I promise. He said after that, can I ask you a question I said sure, he said why did you not show up that day? I told him that I thought he really did not want to hang out and that I was just going and did my homework and worked as a tailor in my mothers.
It all started Freshman year of high school, walking into school feeling as if I had to be perfect, I need to act in this way to make friends. Walking into all of my classes and just not talking as much on the first day. I recall walking into advisory and someone recognized me, I was the kid that quit soccer after being hit in the face. I was the kid that walked in a weird way, on his tippy toes, I had a “gay” walk to me. I remember the second day of high school, realizing that someone else recognized me, she went to kindergarten with me and oh my god she was the light in my freshman year high school experience.
Why should I be friends with people who don’t even care to check in on me? That question lingered in my mind that whole week and weekend, when I finally realized that there are changes that come with high school and this was going to be one of them. They didn’t talk to me or try to figure out what was wrong, they moved on with their lives like I had never even been apart of them. I couldn’t sit around and waste away the rest of my year, hoping they would care about me again, so I had to move on too. All the exciting ideas and plans we had made would, I would experience with new people.
It turned out that I didn't need to worry about it. I loved school even the rides on the yellow school bus there every day. I learn new things (even English, not my favourite subject back then) and I made more friends of my age. But there was one incident when I had a fight with a boy who stole a book that my friend lent to me and claiming it was his. I lost as the teachers sided with him (his nose didn't look too good) but I can never forget it.
I would wait a couple minutes for her to go to the kitchen and eat and go straight to her bedroom and check her bookbag. Check all of her notebooks and books and see what was new and pretend i was reading even though I didn't know how to. I was always excited to learn about school that's all I cared about when I was growing up. Watch my sister going to school since I couldn't because of my age was such a good motivating to me to be anxious to start school to grow up and do big things. This was just the start of how I started to look up to my sister.