My childhood was lost because of this, but since coming out a new world has opened. When I started my freshman year of high school I was quiet, extremely introverted, depressed, and always anxious. I didn’t how to make friends, I had no friends, and I was at a new school. My world was turned upside down, but for the first time in my life, I could be who I wanted to be, which was myself. I didn’t want to trapped inside myself anymore and didn’t want to be afraid of what the world could do to me.
Starting out the year, I may have been soft spoken and shy, now as the years nears its end, I am more apt to speaking and voicing my opinion. Often during class discussions and debates my opinions and answers remained hidden, that was until Invisible Man group discussions came along. These discussions included proposing chapter questions and reviewing the chapters that had been previously read. After being assigned chapter two and being told there was going to be class discussions on each chapter, I knew it was time to come out of my shell. Starting out in the first discussion, I began to lead the talks and present topics.
I stopped caring what people thought of me. I decided somewhere along my journey that what happens happens. I cannot control the future or change the past. The only thing I have any command over is the present so I have to make the best of it.
I have gone through periods of my life when I finally break out of my shell and gain the confidence to be who I am. But, an incident has always come up that put me right back in my lonely and unhappy shell. It is like a rollercoaster: the high points are when I am confident and the low parts are when I am sad. But along the ride, I have found what I value most. I value leadership and I aspire to be a leader, a role model, for my peers and even for people who have no idea who I am.
Throughout the remainder of sixth grade and going further, I would go on to be reserved and quiet. While being shy isn't necessarily a good thing, I feel like it has made me more mature and well behaved. I feel like it has given me good qualities like modesty and politeness to others. In addition, I feel like it's a nice quirk to have and it gives me an overall good or neutral impression towards other people. It was a good step forward, however, I’ve started to feel like I’ve become too distant towards others and society.
From this day, I still remember how lonely I felt and how badly I wanted to be accepted. I dreaded to go to recess because I wasn't sure what type of crowd I would “ fit in” with. As I walked in class, I saw everyone divided into various cliques and eventually I found myself every week trying to fit in with a different one. I tried my best to act like those kids in order to fit in, I changed so many things such as my attitude, my clothing, my hairstyles and how I spoke in the span of one year. I was so desperate to feel like I was not alone and had real friends that I basically would’ve done anything for others to like me.
From elementary school to seventh grade I wasn’t much of a talker. I had many acquaintances but I never considered them close friends. I had a huge gap between my two front teeth and I never liked to wear dresses or skirts. To everyone I was most likely considered a “lame”. However that didn’t stop my classmates from talking to me.
Having the courage to step up to something like this is big for me so I could add confidence and appreciation. Why appreciation? Well, I’m a very driven person and if I don’t push myself now then when will I? I like building relationships because I’m very sociable. I’m very clear about what I have to say, I don’t like to offend others and make someone feel bad because it’s not fair to them, I like when there is an equal treatment.
I’ll never forget how I felt the first time I walked into Prairie Ridge High School. I was surrounded by approximately sixteen hundred other students and I knew exactly none of them. I had never been that alone before and when I walked through the cafeteria doors, I felt the first seed of doubt that maybe I should have stayed in Union, with my mom. At that moment, I wanted to turn around and run out of Prairie Ridge, hop in the car, and drive the four hundred miles back to my friends, my teammates, and the majority of my family. Instead, I took a deep breath and sat down.
This psychological assignment requires us to break a social norm. In my case, I decided to break an appearance social norm. I thought in something weird, but at the same time really funny. Therefore, I entered to my little walking closet and I took the most brilliant and extravagant high heels shoes that I found to wear them at a place when people usually used flip flops.
I first felt that I finally came home and this was the place I belonged to. However, my best friend and I were placed in different classes. Having experienced a depression, I had became withdrawn and afraid to talk to new people.
When I first entered high school I was a nervous, timid boy. I had never been it such a large school with so many different people. It was during this time, that I started to push myself to break out of my shell and become a more social person. As I proceeded through high school my Mom’s old stories about JROTC popped
I put aside all the self-degrading thoughts and fear that others would ridicule me. Although it made even the simplest tasks difficult, it shaped me into the person that I am today. I developed and achieved a new sense of confidence and even pride. With this newfound