Personal Narrative: My Last 5k Race

Before I stepped up to run the last 5k race of my senior year, I reflected upon my entire high school career. I thought about how much I had changed. Everything, from my running form to my self esteem, was different. By learning from my own struggles, and with the help of my amazing coaches, my inner fire burned with intensity, ready to go.

Stepping out of the car, I joined the first cross country practice of my high school career. I was in a new school, new town, new state, new coast; I didn’t know anybody yet, but my parents insisted on me to go. At first I didn‘t want to participate in cross country. I remember walking into the gym, eyes red and puffy, and feeling completely out of place. Everyone was in their friend groups and I stood there wide-eyed and

Junior year was when things started to get rough. Not academically, but emotionally. During the cross country season I had a hard time believing in myself. I did the minimum required of me, and was satisfied with that, because I thought I wasn’t capable of any more. My coaches tried to push me; they encouraged me to keep going, and I did so -- against my will -- knowing that in the long run it would probably serve me well.

It was my home course, the hardest course in Southeast Alaska. Its steep, grueling hills made the three miles feel like forever. I remember thinking to myself that I wasn’t good enough, I didn’t deserve to be on Varsity, I didn’t deserve to be captain of the girls team. These thoughts prompted me to drop out of the race. After the race, I sat down in my room and cried. I was devastated. I had let my team down, but more importantly I had let myself down. I let myself get to the point of no return; I was pitying myself over something that I could control, and that’s exactly what I did. It took time for me to fully get out of my funk, but by the time senior year came around I had ignited my spark