Personal Narrative: When I Feel Like An Outsider

Anxiety makes me feel like an outsider, the odd one out, a human on Jupiter or an alien on Earth. My thoughts fill my brain like meteors; violent masses causing disturbance. So I ask myself,
“What will tomorrow bring to me?”
“Why can’t I just live like everyone else?”
“Will I ever heal? Will there be a day when I can just be?”
“Will I survive this?”

I’m not sure how to concisely explain how I feel. Writing my life story isn’t easy either as it is nowhere near completed. Writing incomplete stories is difficult, as one can imagine. However, I’ll give it my best shot. As a writer, I intend to stay alive and finish my story in a timely manner. Nevertheless, I have a multitude of mental illnesses making my rough draft a lot harder to finalize. The sources of my writer 's block are as follows, anxiety, depression, insomnia, self harm and thoughts of suicide. Writing our stories is never easy. But, I’m giving it my best shot.

Anyway, enough about writing. It’s high time I told you about the

Then I got to thinking that no matter how discouraging our relative size to our cosmic surrounding may be to some, we are a species surrounded by faith. And, to have faith is to be conscious, to be conscious is for us to wonder and for us to wonder is for us to be alive. For us to be alive, well, that’s magic in itself. You look at human beings, our triumphs and follies. Our hopes, dreams and desires. Our suffering, anguish and troubles. We’re so alive, aren’t we? In my many years of marveling at the stars I must conclude that there is no need to discourage ourselves for our estrangement. For the stars are alone, light years away, tucked tightly into the cosmos. And so are we. We are so very alone. On a piece of rock of a very average star in the corner of an average galaxy. We need not fret our alienation for there is not a single star who shames himself for his loneliness in the vast cosmic perspective. Stars shine no matter their companionship or lack