It hurt to be laughed at for something I really wanted to do. That is when I decided I didn’t want to pursue it anymore. I got many jobs that made me absolutely miserable. I worked myself to death and didn’t even remotely enjoy what I was doing. At that moment, I was hopeless, but I knew I needed to figure something out to make myself happy again.
My entire senior year of high school, an eerie fog of anxiety lingered around myself because of the approaching new part of my life that I couldn’t quite anticipate as well as other events in my life. This chapter in my life that I almost dreaded because of the uncertainty, the path that was always envisioned for me, ironically, the only certain option for myself–attending college. I had my fears before I even applied to a school because I knew myself, I knew I wasn’t as independent as I let myself out to be, and I knew the chance of getting rejected by my first choice school was likely, a school where my friends were attending, where almost complete independence wouldn’t swallow me whole. As you might guess from my transfer application, the likely indeed happened. And so, the most difficult and independent
My dives seemed sloppy, my turns were a mess, and my stamina ran out quickly. My abilities seemed to pale in comparison. Exhaustion was all I felt by the time I arrived at home. I pushed myself to keep up with everyone, but I overdid it. I did not want to go back.
I didn’t want that job, it was a job that was given to me, forced upon me. In my freshman year of high school I was the most awkward kid in every single photo I appeared in, my pose was inelegant and my expression was often fatigued. I did not live with courage. However, that’s not to say that I lived with cowardice. I more of lived with vagueness.
It had started in kindergarten when I had two friends. They both hated each other and so I was the one always in the middle. I decided to just not be friends with one because she was just so rude and nasty. I ended up becoming friends with the other and still even to this day. Since then, there has been little splotches of bullying each year, but this year is the worst.
Unfortunately, your sport requires time off from school, and the school won 't even accommodate your schedule. What if you were an athlete and you had a small injury and your coach made you play because it was the state champs and you hurt yourself so you couldn 't play in the future? Some schools are making the passing GPA lower so that they can graduate and continue to play for a college. Many of those student-athletes, about 8 million people took part in high school athletics, Half of those students burn out on their sport because of intense training session and painful injuries. Are these the negative impacts on high
She was gone, and I had no one by my side that I felt confident enough to share with. After a little while I started doing absolutely miserably in school, lying to my mom so much, that after a certain amount of time, my teacher called her and told her everything. My mom was so shocked that she could not believe it, my lies lasted for probably about a year and after sometime she has of course forgiven me, but I was all alone through all of this again. I felt so lonely and broken that……I wanted to end my life. I went to the extent of writing a good bye note, many times, but I always stopped myself, believing and on some level knowing that I had to fight and that I had to live at least for my mom, because she does for me.
I am also worried about finals week and just college tests in general, I know that the classes will be harder than they were in high school and I was never the best at taking tests and I get really bad anxiety when taking tests so that does really worry me. I was never really good at taking notes so I have had to learn to become a good note taker, so far it has been good. Studying for my college exams also worries me because I was never that good at studying and I am a
I think this event changed how I see myself as well, I see myself really different from what other people see. I am not confident in myself I have lots of doubts and not enough trust. My goals have changed, in fact I don 't have any or believe in them anymore because so far nothing seems stable enough to think about goals. I don 't know if I want to leave the U.S. and leave everything behind or stay here
Angry and bitter, I stopped volunteering and participating in additional duties. All the hard work I put in led to nothing but failure and heartbreak; the sacrifices I made, the time spent, I could never get back. I remained this way until I realized that the anger and bitterness was only dragging me down. I wasn’t myself. For someone who grew up craving success, I was fully aware of people like Michael Jordan, who was cut from his high school varsity team, and Bill Gates, a Harvard University drop out.