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Humorous Wedding Speech Samples

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Let’s say in the heat of passion you and your partner got carried away and were sucking on each other 's skin. It felt good and harmless at the time but when it was all over and you went in front of the mirror there were some great big purplish red marks on your neck. You are horrified. You had no idea. They stand out like a sore thumb.

It might only be one small one but it sure looks huge when you are confronted by it. It might be several large ones and they would look like would look like they covered your entire body. All you know is that it is there front row center and is an eyesore and you have to get rid of it. Not only does it have to go, it has to go quickly. You try washing it off. Nothing.

You feel hot and scared. You have a business meeting …show more content…

You want to be taken seriously. But how with marks all over especially the one on your cheek and not the cheek you cover with clothes but the one on each side of your nose?

You grab for your scarf to cover your neck and pull your top in all different directions to hide your love bites but it just doesn’t work. You put on a ski mask. There done but really can you go to work in a hot office with a ski mask all day? Can you read your speech to the room full of business people with a ski mask and be taken seriously hmm, no. What about buying one with flowers or nicer colors. No.

Next you try bandages. You can make some big excuse on how you burnt yourself while using the hot iron and it slipped and touch 10 different area as it fell. Scratch that it will not work either. They have to go. Hickeys can be anywhere on your body like on your neck, chest, inner arms, lips, back shoulder legs and hands hopefully not your face.

Maybe is not a business meeting. Maybe you have different reasons for people not seeing them. Do you have to cover them with a bandage until it heals? Or phone in work sick or school for a week? Two? How long will it take to heal? What can you do to speed up the

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