Humorous Wedding Speech: A Day Of Life

Good afternoon, everybody. I apologize for being late; however, my car had been mobbed on the way here, that 's right, surrounded by aggressive throngs of people, all screaming and yelling in a free-for-all cacophony, some even fervently/vigorously hammering on my windows. Imagine this happening to you, every hour of every day of your life. Strangers scrutinizing your every move, cruel eyes judging your every action, hungrily waiting for you to make a single mistake, greedily devouring even the most minuscule details of your life. In fact, just last week, I saw a full size article on where I buy my yoghurt! It 's absolutely ridiculous. It really is. Wars, famines, plagues are constantly occurring around the globe, people are dropping dead like fleas, crime is seeping into the

I routinely feel like throwing on a snug pair of ratty sweatpants and letting my hair down for once. Sometimes, I don 't want to wear the stunning silk dress, which shackles my body into its tiny confines, forcing me to suck in my stomach for the cameras, a fake smile plastered onto my face. Sometimes, I don 't want to be gorgeous. Sometimes, I don 't want to be the epitome of glamour. But, can I do this? Not in this incredibly shallow world of ours, in a world where image is everything, I could never make the grave mistake of letting my standards slip. The tremendous pressure of having to conform to society’s standards of what they expect from me, having to look like I’m ready to strut on a catwalk at all times, bears down hard on me, its mammoth weight slowly pushing down on me, overpowering me until I’m ready to admit defeat. Apparently, there are a set of rigid rules, cruel guidelines dictating me on how to behave on the basis of my presumed personality. Not only this, I’m also expected to be an ideal role model for scores of teenagers around the world, their finicky parents ready to pounce on me at the drop of a hat, eager to pulverize me into