Sailing Silent With Your Thistle Crown Summary

The first poem describes how the speaker is consumed by this love and all of its hurt because the person who planted the feeling within them changed their mind. A rose is used as a metaphor for this love. I appreciated how this poem is openly reminiscing on a past experience. Poems are often written about past events, but I always find it refreshing to read a poem that is recognizing the time distance between the poem’s time and the time it’s written. I think you write about this personal thing in enough depth to express what you mean. The word choice was great, “burgeoning” was interesting to come across. I think the sound works well since you repeat certain sounds, like “-ing”. I especially loved the last stanza where you wrote “The artist

Poems or songs about her always are very cool to look at. Even knowing the ending, it didn’t feel boring. The poem’s entrance is very impactful, beginning with only her name. I think my favorite line is at the start of the second stanza, “Sailing silent with your thistle crown”. It plays with sound very nicely using the repetition of the “s” sound. Your usage of different types of plants gives an image of this overgrown river, which is cool to imagine, and I think it could be expanded if you wanted to describe things in more detail. During the first stanza, I kind of get the feeling that in the second line, “water depths” was meant to be “watery depths”. It still works as is, but something about the line feels a bit off. As someone who is familiar with her story, I think that this poem hits all of the right notes considering tone, word-choice, and

The intro to this poem is funny; it feels almost whimsical when you say that the old woman “sits upon my desk” because it is unexpected. Throughout, it’s interesting how you describe something as if it is real life, and then restate that it is only the little image upon your desk.I would recommend fleshing out this description out because I do feel a little confused on what the things actually is because my first assumption was that it was a statue. It feels really impersonal until you reach the line, “do not move themselves”. I think that serves as a nice surprise. It acts a clear shift in tone and makes the impact you’re going for even more meaningful. The form works well since some natural pauses fall right before a surprise, and making the lines too much longer would make it feel a little cheesy, I think. I’m not sure if the title is appropriate though because you don’t describe anyone skating, only two people in a chair. I think that the second half could be expanded to describe this relationship and the speaker’s feelings even more. Despite this, I really admire how honest and relatable all of your poems