Shelbib Listening Skills

Listening Skills Observed
Attending/SOLER
The act of putting aside assumptions and biases is discussed in context of ‘attending’ in Shelbib’s text, and is fundamental in practicing its central principle; in this case, conveying to my neighbour that I was completely available to hear anything she had to say (p. 118). I was aware that my previous knowledge of Fern would affect how I approached the interview. This brought into context one of the first issues discussed in Shelbib’s chapter on listening— bias and assumptions as a barrier to listening (p. 113). While my bias toward my neighbour was positive, I realized our friendship had prejudiced me to believe her politics were the same as mine and without awareness, this could alter my approach to the subject—any hint toward either my positive or negative feelings could affect her willingness to openly share all her thoughts on the matter. As stated by Shelbib, “open-minded listeners are willing to explore new ideas and are secure enough to hear different opinions without distortion” (p.112). In order to practice good listening skills and to develop an understanding of the interviewee, it was essential that I allow Fern to put forward her thoughts and feelings free of the influence of my opinions or attitudes on the matter. I mentally

Throughout the interview, however, Fern shared some non-verbal signifiers that indicated that there were some feelings of frustration towards her mother; tone of voice; passing, non-related, word choices; tightness of jaw; and slightly increased agitation all indicated that there is some active frustration that Fern is feeling about her mother. In this case, Fern’s non-verbal behaviour was contradicting her verbal message as described in the text (p.