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Spongebab Monologue

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SpongeBob: Today's the big day, Gary!
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: [jumps on the diving board] Look at me, I'm... [jumps up, and leaves his underwear behind] ..naked! [lands inside his pants, then runs toward the exercise room. His head pops out of the top of his pants.] Gotta be in top physical condition for today, Gary.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: [taking deep breaths, he prepares to lift a barbell that is balanced by two lightweight stuffed animals. He sticks out his chest, but almost passes out because he can barely lift it. He drops it, and it makes a "squeak" noise] I'm ready! [runs outside] I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready! [as he speaks, a dimwitted sea star's rock tilts …show more content…

[falls] Whoa! [crash sound effect]

SpongeBob (1997 Version): [runs down the street to the Krusty Krab] I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! [jumps in the air as the scene freezes and a title reads SpongeBob SquarePants]
French Narrator (1997 Version): SpongeBob SquarePants! [It shows SpongeBob running through various landscapes, as it shows a frozen scene of SpongeBob standing in front of the Krusty Krab the scene unfreezes and then the episode continues as normal]

[bubble transitions to the Krusty …show more content…

Mr. Krabs: Well, lad, it looks like you don't even have your sea legs.
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, please! I'll prove I'm fry cook material! Ask Squidward, he'll vouch for me.
[Mr. Krabs and Squidward quickly walk away from SpongeBob. Squidward looks at Mr. Krabs.]
Squidward: [deep breath] No.
[Mr. Krabs winks. Squidward and Mr. Krabs head back to SpongeBob, who looks completely puzzled at what he's hearing]
Mr. Krabs: Well, lad, we'll give you a test, and if you pass, you'll be on the Krusty Krew. Go out and fetch me... a... [SpongeBob takes out a notepad] uh, hydrodynamic spatula... [SpongeBob quickly jots down what he says] with, um, port-and-starboard-attachments, [more scribbling] and, uh... turbo drive. [more scribbling] And don't come back ‘til you get one. [puts a Krusty Krab crew hat on SpongeBob's head.]
[SpongeBob sees how he looks in a mirror, there are sparkles on his hat, and he has a huge, satisfied smile]
SpongeBob: [saluting Krabs] Aye aye, captain! [reading] One hydrodynamic spatula, with port-and-starboard attachments, turbo drive, coming right up, sir! [salutes again]
Mr. Krabs: Carry on! [SpongeBob leaves] We'll never see that lubber again.
Squidward: [smiling] You're terrible. A

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